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The Old National Guard
by [?]

You pull a lot of funny stuff about us, when there’s peace,
The jokes you spring are sometimes rough, and make a guy see red;
But when there’s trouble in the air you “vaudevillians” cease,
And them that laughed the loudest laugh, salute the flag instead!

Oh, it’s kid the boys along
When there’s nothing going wrong;
But when your country’s facin’ war,
You sing a different song!

The khaki that they doll us in ain’t seen war service–no!
The most of it has been worn thin a-loafin’ ’round the mess;
Folks think it’s great to josh us when things are goin’ slow,
But when the country’s all het up–we ain’t so worse, I guess!

Then it’s, “Look! The Guard is here;
Fine set of men, muh dear.”…
(We’d like it better if you spread
Your jollies through th’ year!)

We’re only folks–th’ reg’lar kind–that answered to th’ call;
We may be dumb and also blind–but still we’ll see it through!
Just wearin’ khaki doesn’t change our insides–not a’tall!
We’re human (Does that seem so strange?) waitin’ to fight–for you!

We mayn’t be worth a cuss
In this ugly foreign muss,
But when the nation needs some help,
Why–pass the job to us!