FullReads

THAT ALEX “IST MAKED UP HIS-OWN-SE’F”

W’y, wunst they wuz a Little Boy went out
In the woods to shoot a Bear. So, he went out
‘Way in the grea’-big woods–he did.–An’ he
Wuz goin’along–an’goin’along, you know,
An’ purty soon he heerd somepin’ go “Wooh!”—
Ist thataway–“Woo-ooh!” An’ he wuz skeered,
He wuz. An’ so he runned an’ clumbed a tree–
A grea’-big tree, he did,–a sicka-more tree.
An’ nen he heerd it agin: an’ he looked round,
An’ ‘t’uz a Bear!–a grea’-big, shore-nuff Bear!—
No: ‘t’uz two Bears, it wuz–two grea’-big Bears–
One of ’em wuz–ist one’s a grea’-big Bear.–
But they ist boff went “Wooh! “–An’ here they come
To climb the tree an’ git the Little Boy
An’eat him up!

An’ nen the Little Boy
He ‘uz skeered worse’n ever! An’ here come
The grea’-big Bear a-climbin’ th’ tree to git
The Little Boy an’ eat him up–Oh, no!—
It ‘uzn’t the Big Bear ‘at clumb the tree–
It ‘uz the Little Bear. So here he come
Climbin’ the tree–an’ climbin’ the tree! Nen when
He git wite clos’t to the Little Boy, w’y nen
The Little Boy he ist pulled up his gun
An’ shot the Bear, he did, an’ killed him dead!
An’ nen the Bear he falled clean on down out
The tree–away clean to the ground, he did
Spling-splung! he falled plum down, an’ killed him, too!
An’ lit wite side o’ where the’ Big Bear’s at.

An’ nen the Big Bear’s awful mad, you bet!–
‘Cause–’cause the Little Boy he shot his gun
An’ killed the Little Bear.–‘Cause the Big Bear
He–he ‘uz the Little Bear’s Papa.–An’ so here
He come to climb the big old tree an’ git
The Little Boy an’ eat him up! An’ when
The Little Boy he saw the grea’-big Bear
A-comin’, he ‘uz badder skeered, he wuz,
Than any time! An’ so he think he’ll climb
Up higher–‘way up higher in the tree
Than the old Bear kin climb, you know.–But he–
He can’t climb higher ‘an old Bears kin climb,–
‘Cause Bears kin climb up higher in the trees
Than any little Boys In all the Wo-r-r-ld!

An’ so here come the grea’-big Bear, he did,–
A-climbin’ up–an’ up the tree, to git
The Little Boy an’ eat him up! An’ so
The Little Boy he clumbed on higher, an’ higher.
An’ higher up the tree–an’ higher–an’ higher–
An’ higher’n iss-here house is!–An’ here come
Th’ old Bear–clos’ter to him all the time!–
An’ nen–first thing you know,–when th’ old Big Bear
Wuz wite clos’t to him–nen the Little Boy
Ist jabbed his gun wite in the old Bear’s mouf
An’ shot an’ killed him dead!–No; I fergot,–
He didn’t shoot the grea’-big Bear at all–
‘Cause they ‘uz no load in the gun, you know–
‘Cause when he shot the Little Bear, w’y, nen
No load ‘uz anymore nen in the gun!

But th’ Little Boy clumbed higher up, he did–
He clumbed lots higher–an’ on up higher–an’ higher
An’ higher–tel he ist can’t climb no higher,
‘Cause nen the limbs ‘uz all so little, ‘way
Up in the teeny-weeny tip-top of
The tree, they’d break down wiv him ef he don’t
Be keerful! So he stop an’ think: An’ nen
He look around–An’ here come th’ old Bear!
An’ so the Little Boy make up his mind
He’s got to ist git out o’ there some way!–
‘Cause here come the old Bear!–so clos’t, his bref’s
Purt ‘nigh so’s he kin feel how hot it is
Aginst his bare feet–ist like old “Ring’s” bref
When he’s ben out a-huntin’ an’s all tired.
So when th’ old Bear’s so clos’t–the Little Boy
Ist gives a grea’-big jump fer ‘nother tree–
No!–no he don’t do that!–I tell you what
The Little Boy does:–W’y, nen–w’y, he–Oh, yes—
The Little Boy he finds a hole up there
‘At’s in the tree–an’ climbs in there an’ hides—
An’ nen the old Bear can’t find the Little Boy
Ut-tall!–But, purty soon th’ old Bear finds
The Little Boy’s gun ‘at’s up there–’cause the gun
It’s too tall to tooked wiv him in the hole.
So, when the old Bear find’ the gun, he knows
The Little Boy ist hid ’round somers there,–
An’ th’ old Bear ‘gins to snuff an’ sniff around,
An’ sniff an’ snuff around–so’s he kin find
Out where the Little Boy’s hid at.–An’ nen–nen–
Oh, yes!–W’y, purty soon the old Bear climbs
‘Way out on a big limb–a grea’-long limb,–
An’ nen the Little Boy climbs out the hole
An’ takes his ax an’ chops the limb off!… Nen
The old Bear falls k-splunge! clean to the ground
An’ bust an’ kill hisse’f plum dead, he did!