FullReads

There was a young person of Bantry,
Who frequently slept in the pantry;
When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
That judicious young person of Bantry.

There was an Old Man at a Junction,
Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
When they said, “The Train’s gone!” he exclaimed, “How forlorn!”
But remained on the rails of the Junction.

There was an old person of Minety,
Who purchased five hundred and ninety
Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
At the heads of the people of Minety.

There was an old man of Thermopylae,
Who never did anything properly;
But they said, “If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylae.”

There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
When they said, “Tell us why?” he made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.

There was an old man on the Humber,
Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
When he said, “It’s enough!” they only said, “Stuff!
You amazing old man on the Humber!”

There was an old man in a barge,
Whose nose was exceedingly large;
But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
Which helped that old man in a barge.

There was an old man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose.
When he grew melancholy, they said, “His name’s Polly,”
Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

There was an old man of Toulouse
Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
When they asked, “Are they pleasant?” he said, “Not at present!”
That turbid old man of Toulouse.

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs’d the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

There was an old person of Bromley,
Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

There was an old person of Shields,
Who frequented the vallies and fields;
All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
Followed after that person of Shields.

There was an old man of Dunluce,
Who went out to sea on a goose:
When he’d gone out a mile, he observ’d with a smile,
“It is time to return to Dunluce.”

There was an old man of Dee-side
Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
But he said, “Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
To come under my hat at Dee-side!”

There was an old person in black,
A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
That helpless old person in black.

There was an old man of the Dargle
Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
For he said, “I’ll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
For the fish in the depths of the Dargle.”

There was an old person of Pinner,
As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
They dressed him in white, and roll’d him up tight,
That elastic old person of Pinner.

There was an old person of China,
Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
And all of them settled in China.

There was an old man in a Marsh,
Whose manners were futile and harsh;
He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
That instructive old man in a Marsh.