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My Jolly Friend’s Secret
by [?]

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it
Since you’ve taken you a mate?–
Your smile, though, plainly shows it
Is a very happy state!
Dan Cupid’s necromancy!
You must sit you down and dine,
And lubricate your fancy
With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have “deserted,”
As my other chums have done,
While I laugh alone diverted,
As you drop off one by one—
And I’ve remained unwedded,
Till–you see–look here–that I’m,
In a manner, “snatched bald-headed”
By the sportive hand of Time!

I’m an “old ‘un!” yes, but wrinkles
Are not so plenty, quite,
As to cover up the twinkles
Of the boy–ain’t I right?
Yet there are ghosts of kisses
Under this mustache of mine
My mem’ry only misses
When I drown ’em out with wine.

From acknowledgment so ample,
You would hardly take me for
What I am–a perfect sample
Of a “jolly bachelor”;
Not a bachelor has being
When he laughs at married life
But his heart and soul’s agreeing
That he ought to have a wife!

Ah, ha! old chum, this claret,
Like Fatima, holds the key
Of the old Blue-Beardish garret
Of my hidden mystery!
Did you say you’d like to listen?
Ah, my boy! the “Sad No More!”
And the tear-drops that will glisten–
Turn the catch upon the door,

And sit you down beside me
And put yourself at ease–
I’ll trouble you to slide me
That wine decanter, please;
The path is kind o’ mazy
Where my fancies have to go,
And my heart gets sort o’ lazy
On the journey–don’t you know?

Let me see–when I was twenty–
It’s a lordly age, my boy,
When a fellow’s money’s plenty,
And the leisure to enjoy–

And a girl–with hair as golden
As–that; and lips–well–quite
As red as this I’m holdin’
Between you and the light?

And eyes and a complexion–
Ah, heavens!–le’-me-see–
Well,–just in this connection,–
Did you lock that door for me?
Did I start in recitation
My past life to recall?
Well, that’s an indication
I am purty tight–that’s all!