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Heinie The Hostler
by [?]

He’s not very handsome or clever,

He’s slow in his wits–and he’s fat,

And yet he’s a soldier of Uncle Sam’s–

Now, whaddy you know about that?

We always called him Dummy,
And thought he wouldn’t fight;
We sneered at him and jeered at him–
He was–and is–a sight!
His feet are big, his head is small,
His German blood is slow,
But at the call for volunteers,
Why, didn’t Heinie go?

He’s workin’ as a hostler
(He used to be a clerk)
He don’t enjoy his job, that boy,
But Heinie is no shirk.
“This is my country just as much
As it is yours,” says he;
“I’m gonna do what I can do
To keep it mine!… You’ll see!

“My father, he come over here
To get away from things;
He couldn’t abide on th’ other side–
Aristocrats and kings.
The Stars and Stripes mean liberty,
I’ve always understood;
So gimme the right to work–or fight–
I betcha I’ll make good.

“As a chambermaid to horses
In a battery that’s new,
The work is rough and mean enough
And wouldn’t appeal to you;
But I’ve got my place and I’ll stick to it–
Can any man do more?
I’ve never had a chance, like dad,
To prove myself before.”

Perhaps he won’t get a commission;

Perhaps he is dull, and all that;

But somehow I feel that he’s better than me–

Now whaddy you know about that?