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A Book of Nonsense
by
There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
There was an Old Man who said, “Well!
Will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!”
There was an Old Man with an Owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
There was an Old Man in a casement,
Who held up his hands in amazement;
When they said, “Sir, you’ll fall!” he replied, “Not at all!”
That incipient Old Man in a casement.
There was an Old Person of Ewell,
Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
There was an Old Man of Peru.
Who never knew what he should do;
So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, “It is just as I feared!–
Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard.”
There was a Young Lady whose eyes
Were unique as to color and size;
When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.
There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
And frequently walked about Ryde.
There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
But she said, “I don’t care! all the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!”