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PAGE 8

The Maid’s Progress
by [?]

“Yes,” said Daphne faintly.

“What is the residue? Or is it only the troubled waters still heaving?”

“Yes, perhaps so.”

“Well, the peace will come. Promise me, dear, that you will let it come. Do not give yourself the pain and humiliation of repeating to any other person this miserable story of your fault.”

“It was more than a fault; you know that, uncle. Your conscience could not have borne it for an hour.”

“Your sin, then. A habit of confession is debilitating and dangerous. God has heard you, and I, who alone in this world could have the right to reproach you, have said to you, Go in peace. Peace let it be, and silence, which is the safest seal of a true confession.”

“Do you mean that I am never to let myself be known as I am?” asked Daphne. Her face had changed; it wore a look of fright and resistance. “Why, that would mean that I am never to unmask; to go about all my life in my trappings of false widowhood. You read what that paper called me! I cannot play the part any longer.”

“Are you speaking with reference to these strangers? But this will soon be over, dear. We shall soon be at home, where no one thinks of us except as they have known us all their lives. It will be painful for a little while, this conspicuousness; but these good people will soon pass out of our lives, and we out of theirs. Idle speculation will have little to do with us, after this.”

“There will be always speculation,” implored the girl. “It will follow me wherever I go, and all my life I shall be in bondage to this wretched lie. Take back the money, uncle, and give me the price I paid for it,–my freedom, myself as I was before I was tempted!”

“Ah, if that could be!” said the old gentleman. “Is it my poor boy’s memory that burdens you so? Is it that which you would be freed from?”

“From doing false homage to his memory,” Daphne pleaded. “I could have grieved for him, if I could have been honest; as it is, I am in danger almost of hating him. Forgive me, uncle, but I am! How do you suppose I feel when voices are lowered and eyes cast down, not to intrude upon my ‘peculiar, privileged grief? ‘Here I and Sorrow sit!’ Isn’t it awful, uncle? Isn’t it ghastly, indecent? I am afraid some day I shall break out and do some dreadful thing,–laugh or say something shocking, when they try to spare my feelings. Feelings! when my heart is as hard, this moment, to everything but myself, myself! I am so sick of myself! But how can I help thinking about myself when I can never for one moment be myself?”

“This is something that goes deeper,” said Mr. Withers. “I confess it is difficult for me to follow you here; to understand how a love as meek as that of the dead, who ask nothing, could lay such deadly weights upon a young girl’s life.”

“Not his love–mine, mine! Is it truly in his grave? If it is not, why do I dare to profess daily that it is, to go on lying every day? I want back my word, that I never gave to any man. Can’t one repent and confess a falsehood? And do you call it confessing, when all but one person in the world are still deceived?”

“It is not easy for me to advise you, Daphne,” said Mr. Withers wearily. “Your struggle has discovered to me a weakness of my own: verily, an old man’s fond jealousy for the memory of his son. Almost I could stoop to entreat you. I do entreat you! So long as we defraud no one else, so long as there is no living person who might justly claim to know your heart, why rob my poor boy’s grave of the grace your love bestows, even the semblance that it was? Let it lie there like a mourning wreath, a purchased tribute, we will say,” the father added, with a smile of sad irony; “but only a rude hand would rob him of his funereal honors. There seems to be an unnecessary harshness in this effort to right yourself at the cost of the unresisting dead. Since you did not deny him living, must you repudiate him now? Fling away even his memory, that casts so thin a shade upon your life, a faint morning shadow that will shrink as your sun climbs higher. By degrees you will be free. And, speaking less selfishly, would there not be a certain indelicacy in reopening now the question of your past relations to one whose name is very seldom spoken? Others may not be thinking so much of your loss–your supposed loss,” the old gentleman conscientiously supplied–“as your sensitiveness leads you to imagine. But you will give occasion for thinking and for talking if you tear open now your girlhood’s secrets. Whom does it concern, my dear, to know where or how your heart is bestowed?”