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If the Cretan Lady[35] had abstained from the Love of Thyestes, (O! how Women disdain Constancy to their Husbands!) the Sun had not stopt in the middle of his Career, and turned about his Face to the East, that he might avoid the bloody Banquet. God be praised! the Cuckolds of our Age are not so bloody in their Revenge.

The Daughter of Nisus [36], who stole her Papa’s Hair, feeds hungry Dogs in those Parts which first set her a longing for Minos.

Agamemnon, after returning safe from so many bloody Campaigns, and from the dangerous Seas which he crossed, fell at last a dreadful Victim to the Whore his Wife[37].

Who hath not wept at the sad Story of Creusa? consumed by the Flames of a Sorceress, who afterwards drenched her Hands in the Blood of her own Children[38].

Phoenix [39], the Son of Amyntor, hath often paid many a Tear for his Amours, though he had not the wretched Fate of Hippolytus[40], to be torn in pieces by wild Horses.

And thou, O Phineus[41]! why dost thou indulge that Jade Harpalice by digging out the Eyes of thy Children? Believe me, Divine Vengeance will hereafter inflict the same Punishment on thyself.

All these have been the Effects of Women’s raging Desires, which are so much more violent and mad than ours.

Come on then, and doubt not the Conquest of any Girl whatever: there is not one in a thousand who will deny you.

And even those who will deny you, love to be put to the Question; if you are disappointed therefore, your Repulse will be attended with no Danger.

But why should you apprehend any Disappointment, when every new Amour pleases them, and they all hanker after the Lovers and Husbands of other Women?

This I am afraid is too natural in all things. The Corn in our Neighbour’s Field seems always to flourish beyond our own, and we think our own Cow gives less Milk than his.

However, before you attack any Lady, make first sure of her Maid; for she will pave the Way to your Addresses.

If the Lady have many Females about her Person, take care to secure her who is most in the Confidence of her Mistress; and who will faithfully betray to you all her private Conversation.

When you have found this Confidant out, corrupt her with Promises and Intreaties; for she can soon bring you to the End of your Desires, if she pleases.

Let her watch the Opportunity, (Physicians will tell you the Use of attending proper Seasons) when the Mind of your Mistress is easy, and apt for your Purpose.

This Season, I apprehend, is when she is in the best Humour; for Love then becomes luxuriant in her Mind, as Corn doth in a rich Soil.

When the Heart is full of Gladness, and bound up by no Vexation, it is open; and then the Compliments of a Lover will easily find an Admission.

Remember, Troy was defended while it remained in a sullen Mood, and opened its Gates to the armed Horse, when it was full of Good-Humour, and drunk with Joy.

Yet every Vexation should not deter you; for if your Mistress should be uneasy at the Falshood of her Husband, then is a proper time to attack her, and to assist her in revenging the Injury.

When your Mistress is in this Humour, let Abigail while combing her Hair at the Toilette in a Morning, stir her up to Vengeance. This will under-hand promote your Voyage; for while you openly manage your Sails, she works under the Water with her Oars.

Now let Abigail with a soft Sigh mutter to her self: Ah! poor Lady, I am afraid it is not in your power alone to revenge your Husband’s Perfidy!

Then let her introduce a Discourse of you; let her say something in your Favour, and swear that you are gone distracted and dying for Love.