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Again, when thou dost sit down at table among the Women, thou may’st reap other Pleasures besides those of Wine: For, to speak figuratively, Cupid with glowing Cheeks often presses the Horns of Bacchus in his tender Arms; and the Wings of the little God of Love being wetted with Wine, he is unable to fly off: And if he happens to shake his wet Wings, he may possibly sprinkle the Bosom of your Mistress with Love.

In more intelligible Language, Wine fills our Minds with Courage, and makes them susceptible of other warm Passions. Care flies away, and is dissolved in much Liquor. Then comes Laughter, the poor Man becomes bold, and Grief and Solicitude, and knitted Brows vanish. Then it is that Simplicity, a rare Virtue in our Age, opens our Hearts, Wine having divested us of Cunning. At this Season, many a watchful young Fellow hath gained the Heart of his Mistress[27]. And Love hath sprung from Wine, as the Flame doth from Fire.

However, do not confide too much at this time to the Light of a Candle: for Night and Wine obstruct us in forming a true Judgment of Beauty. Paris beheld the Goddesses in open Daylight, when he gave the Preference to Venus. Indeed by Candle-light, and in a Side-Box, almost every one is a Beauty: Jewels, Clothes, and Women, are all best discerned by the Light of the Sun.

And here if I should recount all the rural Haunts in which a Lover may find his Game, I might write more Volumes than Oldmixon, Tunbridge, and Scarborough, and Cheltenham, and Holt, and many other Places shall be therefore omitted; but, Bath[28], thy sulphurous Waters must not be past by. Hence Master Dapperwit bringing home the Wounds made by fair Eyes in his Bosom, cries out, on his Return, The Waters are not so wholesome as they are reported; I have received more Harm than Good at the Place.

Here rises the Temple[29] of the God (CNASH) whose Walls are hung round with the Portraits of Beauties. The Apotheosis of this God hath cost many a poor Man his Heart.

Thus far, my Scholar, I have endeavoured to instruct thee in what Places thou art to hunt for thy Game, and where to spread thy Net. I will now proceed to shew thee by what Means Puss is to be taken, when you have found her Sitting.

Mind all, as my old Schoolmaster used to say; for I assure you my instructions will be worthy the Attention of both the Great Vulgar and the Small.

My first Lesson then is: Be confident. Believe every Woman is to be come at. Do but spread your Net, and I warrant she runs into it.

Sooner shall the Birds be silent in the Spring, or the Frogs in the Winter: Sooner shall the Greyhound run away from the Hare, than a Woman shall resist the Youth who gently assails her. Though she skrews up her Face ever so demurely, she will at length yield to his Persuasions.

A dark Corner is as agreeable to a Girl, as to one of us, though we cannot so well dissemble our Desires as she can; but if we should once enter into a Confederacy against the Sex to leave off courting them, they would soon begin to act the Part of Lovers, and come a wooing to us.

And what is this but a natural Affection, common to the Females of every other Species, who often make love to the Males? And give me leave to tell the Ladies, that we are more able to command our Affections, nor are our Desires so furious, and exceeding all Bounds, as theirs.

The Story of Byblis [30] is too well known to be related, who being in love with her Brother, punished her Crime with her own Hands, and hanged herself in her Garters.