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“Good-morrow, sweet Mistress Lemon.”

Saith she, not looking at him,

“Thou liest.”

“How, mistress?” saith he, with his mouth as wide as a church door on a Sunday.

“Why, for calling a lemon sweet,” saith she, “when all the world doth know that it is sour.”

Thereat he did fall a-grinning again.

“Sweet, sweet mistress Keren,” quoth he, “’tis thee I praise, and not thy name. And I will wager that thou art not sour, Mistress Keren.”

“How wilt thou find out, either to lose or to win thy wager?” quoth she.

“Thus!” quoth he. And, o’ my word, the homespun got his arms about her, knitting and all (though I would ‘a’ laid two cows and a lamb they couldn’t ‘a’ reached about her pretty waist), and smacked her right heartily full on her red mouth.

Well, comrade, that something would happen I knew full well; but when she did up with him by the seat o’ his breeches and the collar o’ his jerkin, and did souse him head first into the pot o’ sack, methought I would ‘a’ burst in sunder, like Judas Iscariot (meaning no blasphemy).

And when he was climbed out, spluttering and white with terror, she did fish out his hat with his big knitting-needles, and did set it upon his head, and did thrust him outside, and did shut the door in ‘s face. But never a word said she from first to last. Then methought in verity I would ‘a’ split in twain from top to toe, like the veil o’ the temple (meaning no blasphemy, as I will swear on th’ book). And when she caught sight o’ me she too fell a-laughing, and quoth she to me, “I have spoiled a good brew for thee, father, but ’twas worth the paying for.” And therewith she did out with the worth o’ the sack from her purse, which she always carried in her bosom, after a fashion inherited from her mother, and counted down the silver into my hand. I took it, for I ever strove to bring up my children in the ways o’ honesty; and certes she had spoiled the contents o’ the caldron by turning it into a bath-tub for Master Mouldy. Well, ’twas th’ talk o’ th’ village for full a month; scarce did young Mouldy dare put out his nose from behind the lattice o’ his mother’s cottage. But th’ other lads seemed to fall more daft about the lass than aye afore.

Now, my wife’s sister had a daughter, called Ruth, and in all things was she most different from my Keren. A’d a head as yellow as Keren’s eyes, and eyes as brown as Keren’s skin, and a skin as white as Keren’s teeth; and a was slim and tender-looking, like a primrose that hath but just ventured out on a day in early spring. Moreover, she was a timid, sweet-voiced creature–the kind o’ wench that makes even a weak man feel strong, ye mind, comrade. But a was ne’er o’er-civil to my lass. Neither did Keren waste much love upon her; she said from th’ very start that th’ hussy had a sly tongue; “and a sly tongue,” saith she, “doth ever mate with a false heart,” saith she; “and from such a marriage what offspring can ye look for, unless it be for mischief?” saith she.

They had not much to do the one with the other, however, until the coming of Robert Hacket to Pebworth. And a was as fine a lad as e’er caused a lass to don her Sunday kirtle on a Saturday. ‘Twas said as how he had met with Ruth while that she was on a visit to her aunt in Dancing Marston, and that he had come to Pebworth to wed with her. All would ‘a’ been well had not it come to Keren’s ears how that Mistress Ruth said that she would bring Master Hacket to see her cousin Keren, but that she did not want her sweetheart to be out with her family ere that he had married into it; meaning neither more nor less than that my Keren was a shame unto her name by reason o’ her romping ways.