PAGE 2
Cost Of Living
by
Stop worrying, you hypochondriac, he told himself angrily.
The door announced, “Mr. Pathis from Avignon Finance is here.”
Carrin started to tell the door to open, when he noticed the Automatic Bartender.
Good God, why hadn’t he thought of it!
The Automatic Bartender was manufactured by Castile Motors. He had bought it in a weak moment. A. E. wouldn’t think very highly of that, since they sold their own brand.
* * * * *
He wheeled the bartender into the kitchen, and told the door to open.
“A very good day to you, sir,” Mr. Pathis said.
Pathis was a tall, imposing man, dressed in a conservative tweed drape. His eyes had the crinkled corners of a man who laughs frequently. He beamed broadly and shook Carrin’s hand, looking around the crowded living room.
“A beautiful place you have here, sir. Beautiful! As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ll be overstepping the company’s code to inform you that yours is the nicest interior in this section.”
Carrin felt a sudden glow of pride at that, thinking of the rows of identical houses, on this block and the next, and the one after that.
“Now, then, is everything functioning properly?” Mr. Pathis asked, setting his briefcase on a chair. “Everything in order?”
“Oh, yes,” Carrin said enthusiastically. “Avignon Electric never goes out of whack.”
“The phone all right? Changes records for the full seventeen hours?”
“It certainly does,” Carrin said. He hadn’t had a chance to try out the phone, but it was a beautiful piece of furniture.
“The Solido-projector all right? Enjoying the programs?”
“Absolutely perfect reception.” He had watched a program just last month, and it had been startlingly lifelike.
“How about the kitchen? Auto-cook in order? Recipe-master still knocking ’em out?”
“Marvelous stuff. Simply marvelous.”
Mr. Pathis went on to inquire about his refrigerator, his vacuum cleaner, his car, his helicopter, his subterranean swimming pool, and the hundreds of other items Carrin had bought from Avignon Electric.
“Everything is swell,” Carrin said, a trifle untruthfully since he hadn’t unpacked every item yet. “Just wonderful.”
“I’m so glad,” Mr. Pathis said, leaning back with a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how hard we try to satisfy our customers. If a product isn’t right, back it comes, no questions asked. We believe in pleasing our customers.”
“I certainly appreciate it, Mr. Pathis.”
* * * * *
Carrin hoped the A. E. man wouldn’t ask to see the kitchen. He visualized the Castile Motors Bartender in there, like a porcupine in a dog show.
“I’m proud to say that most of the people in this neighborhood buy from us,” Mr. Pathis was saying. “We’re a solid firm.”
“Was Mr. Miller a customer of yours?” Carrin asked.
“That fellow who killed himself?” Pathis frowned briefly. “He was, as a matter of fact. That amazed me, sir, absolutely amazed me. Why, just last month the fellow bought a brand-new Jet-lash from me, capable of doing three hundred and fifty miles an hour on a straightaway. He was as happy as a kid over it, and then to go and do a thing like that! Of course, the Jet-lash brought up his debt a little.”
“Of course.”
“But what did that matter? He had every luxury in the world. And then he went and hung himself.”
“Hung himself?”
“Yes,” Pathis said, the frown coming back. “Every modern convenience in his house, and he hung himself with a piece of rope. Probably unbalanced for a long time.”
The frown slid off his face, and the customary smile replaced it. “But enough of that! Let’s talk about you.”
The smile widened as Pathis opened his briefcase. “Now, then, your account. You owe us two hundred and three thousand dollars and twenty-nine cents, Mr. Carrin, as of your last purchase. Right?”