FullReads

I take his account of the rescue of Glasgow Cathedral at the time of the Reformation.

Ah! it’s a brave kirk–nane o’ yere whigmaleeries and curliewurlies and opensteek hems about it–a’ solid, weel-jointed mason-wark, that will stand as lang as the warld, keep hands and gunpowther aff it. It had amaist a douncome lang syne at the Reformation, when they pu’d doun the kirks of St. Andrews and Perth, and thereawa’, to cleanse them o’ Papery, and idolatry, and image-worship, and surplices, and sic-like rags o’ the muckle hure that sitteth on seven hills, as if ane wasna braid eneugh for her auld hinder end. Sae the commons o’ Renfrew, and o’ the Barony, and the Gorbals, and a’ about, they behoved to come into Glasgow ae fair morning, to try their hand on purging the High Kirk o’ Popish nicknackets. But the townsmen o’ Glasgow, they were feared their auld edifice might slip the girths in gaun through siccan rough physic, sae they rang the common bell, and assembled the train-bands wi’ took o’ drum. By good luck, the worthy James Rabat was Dean o’ Guild that year–(and a gude mason he was himsell, made him the keener to keep up the auld bigging), and the trades assembled, and offered downright battle to the commons, rather than their kirk should coup the crans, as others had done elsewhere. It wasna for luve o’ Paperie–na, na!–nane could ever say that o’ the trades o’ Glasgow–Sae they sune came to an agreement to take a’ the idolatrous statues of sants (sorrow be on them!) out o’ their neuks–And sae the bits o’ stane idols were broken in pieces by Scripture warrant, and flung into the Molendinar burn, and the auld kirk stood as crouse as a cat when the flaes are kaimed aff her, and a’body was alike pleased. And I hae heard wise folk say, that if the same had been done in ilka kirk in Scotland, the Reform wad just hae been as pure as it is e’en now, and we wad hae mair Christian-like kirks; for I hae been sae lang in England, that naething will drived out o’ my head, that the dog-kennel at Osbaldistone-Hall is better than mony a house o’ God in Scotland.

Now this sentence is in the first place a piece of Scottish history of quite inestimable and concentrated value. Andrew’s temperament is the type of a vast class of Scottish–shall we call it ‘sow-thistlian’–mind, which necessarily takes the view of either Pope or saint that the thistle in Lebanon took of the cedar or lilies in Lebanon; and the entire force of the passions which, in the Scottish revolution, foretold and forearmed the French one, is told in this one paragraph; the coarseness of it, observe, being admitted, not for the sake of the laugh, any more than an onion in broth merely for its flavour, but for the meat of it; the inherent constancy of that coarseness being a fact in this order of mind, and an essential part of the history to be told.

Secondly, observe that this speech, in the religious passion of it, such as there may be, is entirely sincere. Andrew is a thief, a liar, a coward, and, in the Fair service from which he takes his name, a hypocrite; but in the form of prejudice, which is all that his mind is capable of in the place of religion, he is entirely sincere. He does not in the least pretend detestation of image worship to please his master, or any one else; he honestly scorns the ‘carnal morality[171] as dowd and fusionless as rue-leaves at Yule’ of the sermon in the upper cathedral; and when wrapt in critical attention to the ‘real savour o’ doctrine’ in the crypt, so completely forgets the hypocrisy of his fair service as to return his master’s attempt to disturb him with hard punches of the elbow.