1826. To the people of England, the humble PetitionOf Ireland’s disconsolate Orangemen, showing–That sad, very sad, is our present condition;–Our jobbing all gone and our noble selves going;– That forming one seventh, within a few fractions,Of Ireland’s seven millions of hot heads and hearts,We hold it the basest of all base transactionsTo keep us from […]

Dear Coz, as I know neither you nor Miss Draper,When Parliament’s up, ever take in a paper,But trust for your news to such stray odds and endsAs you chance to pick up from political friends-Being one of this well-informed class, I sit downTo transmit you the last newest news that’s in town. As to Greece […]

Air.–Come with me, and we will goWhere the rocks of coral grow. Come with me and we will blowLots of bubbles as we go;Bubbles bright as ever HopeDrew from fancy–or from soap;Bright as e’er the South Sea sentFrom its frothy element!Come with me and we will blowLots of bubbles as we go.Mix the lather, Johnny […]

“A Christian of the best edition.”–RABELAIS. Canonize him!–yea, verily, we’ll canonize him,Tho’ Cant is his hobby and meddling his bliss,Tho’ sages may pity and wits may despise him,He’ll ne’er make a bit the worse Saint for all this. Descend, all ye Spirits, that ever yet spreadThe dominion of Humbug o’er land and o’er sea,Descend on […]

–“fessus jam sudat asellus,“parce illi; vestrum delicium est asinus.”VERGIL. Copa. A donkey whose talent for burdens was wondrous,So much that you’d swear he rejoiced in a load,One day had to jog under panniers so ponderous,That–down the poor Donkey fell smack on the road! His owners and drivers stood round in amazeWhat! Neddy, the patient, the […]

utrum horumdirius borun? Incerti Auctoris. What! still those two infernal questions,That with our meals our slumbers mix–That spoil our tempers and digestions–Eternal Corn and Catholics! Gods! were there ever two such bores?Nothing else talkt of night or morn–Nothing in doors or out of doors,But endless Catholics and Corn! Never was such a brace of pests–While […]

1826. Great Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions!And oh! above all I admire that Decree,In which thou command’st that all she politiciansShall forthwith be strangled and cast in the sea. ‘Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster–A maid who her faith in old Jeremy puts,Who talks with a lisp of “the last […]

1827. Quit the sword, thou King of men,Grasp the needle once again;Making petticoats is farSafer sport than making war;Trimming is a better thing,Than the being trimmed, oh King!Grasp the needle bright with whichThou didst for the Virgin stitchGarment, such as ne’er beforeMonarch stitched or Virgin wore,Not for her, oh semster nimble!Do I now invoke thy […]

the Irish Slave.[1] 1827. I heard as I lay, a wailing sound,“He is dead–he is dead,” the rumor flew;And I raised my chain and turned me round,And askt, thro’ the dungeon-window, “Who?” I saw my livid tormentors pass;Their grief ’twas bliss to hear and see!For never came joy to them alas!That didn’t bring deadly bane […]

Wanted–Authors of all-work to job for the season,No matter which party, so faithful to neither;Good hacks who, if posed for a rhyme or a reason.Can manage, like ******, to do without either. If in jail, all the better for out-o’-door topics;Your jail is for travellers a charming retreat;They can take a day’s rule for a […]

“The greater the truth, the worse the libel.” A certain Sprite, who dwells below,(‘Twere a libel perhaps to mention where,)Came up incog. some years agoTo try for a change the London air. So well he lookt and drest and talkt,And hid his tail and horns so handy,You’d hardly have known him as he walktFrom C—-e, […]

BATCH THE FIRST. “His ‘prentice han’He tried on man,And then he made the lasses.” 1827. “And now,” quoth the Minister, (eased of his panics,And ripe for each pastime the summer affords,)“Having had our full swing at destroying mechanics,“By way of set-off, let us make a few Lords. “‘Tis pleasant–while nothing but mercantile fractures,“Some simple, some […]

“To Panurge was assigned the Laird-ship of Salmagundi, which was yearly worth 6,789,106,789 ryals besides the revenue of the Locusts and Periwinkles, amounting one year with another to the value of 2,485,768,” etc.–RABELAIS. “Hurra! hurra!” I heard them say,And they cheered and shouted all the way,As the Laird of Salmagundi went.To open in state his […]

1827. “At the interment of the Duke of York, Lord Eldon, in order to guard against the effects of the damp, stood upon his hat during the whole of the ceremony.” —metus omnes et inexorabile fatumsubjecit pedibus, strepitumque Acherontis avari. ‘Twixt Eldon’s Hat and Eldon’s WigThere lately rose an altercation,–Each with its own importance big,Disputing […]

“If in China or among the natives of India, we claimed civil advantages which were connected with religious usages, little as we might value those forms in our hearts, we should think common decency required us to abstain from treating them with offensive contumely; and, though unable to consider them sacred, we would not sneer […]

Wo! Wo![1] Wo, wo unto him who would check or disturb it–That beautiful Light which is now on its way;Which beaming, at first, o’er the bogs of Belturbet,Now brightens sweet Ballinafad with its ray! Oh Farnham, Saint Farnham, how much do we owe thee!How formed to all tastes are thy various employs.The old, as a […]

a Late Scene At Swanage.[1] regnis EX sul ademptis.–Verg. 1827. To Swanage–that neat little town in whose bayFair Thetis shows off in her best silver slippers–Lord Bags[2] took his annual trip t’other day,To taste the sea breezes and chat with the dippers. There–learned as he is in conundrums and laws–Quoth he to his dame (whom […]

BY JOHN BULL. Dublin, March 12, 1827.–Friday, after the arrival of the packet bringing the account of the defeat of the Catholic Question, in the House of Commons, orders were sent to the Pigeon-House to forward 5,000,000 rounds of musket-ball cartridge to the different garrisons round the country.–Freeman’s Journal. I have found out a gift […]

Speech On the Umbrella Question.[1]BY LORD ELDON. 1827. “vos inumbrelles video.”–Ex Juvenil.GEORGII CANNINGII.[2] My Lords, I’m accused of a trick that God knows isThe last into which at my age I could fall–Of leading this grave House of Peers by their noses,Wherever I choose, princes, bishops and all. My Lords, on the question before us […]

Et tu, Brute! 1828.[1] What! Miguel, not patriotic! oh, fy!After so much good teaching ’tis quite a take-in, Sir;First schooled as you were under Metternich’s eye,And then (as young misses say) “finisht” at Windsor![2] I ne’er in my life knew a case that was harder;–Such feasts as you had when you made us a call!Three […]