Tommy’s alluz playin’ jokes, An’ actin’ up, an’ foolin’ folks; An’ wunst one time he creep In Pa’s big chair, he did, one night, An’ squint an’ shut his eyes bofe tight, An’ say, “Now I ‘m asleep.” An’ nen we knowed, an’ Ma know’ too, He ain’t asleep no more ‘n you! An’ wunst […]

Me an’ Bert an’ Minnie-Belle Knows a joke, an’ we won’t tell! No, we don’t–’cause we don’t know Why we got to laughin’ so; But we got to laughin’ so, “We ist kep’ a-laughin’. Wind wuz blowin’ in the tree– An’ wuz only ist us three Playin’ there; an’ ever’ one Ketched each other, like […]

Ho! it’s come, kids, come! “With a bim! bam! bum! Here’s little Billy bangin’ on his big bass drum! He’s a-marchin’ round the room, With his feather-duster plume A-noddin’ an’ a-bobbin’ with his bim! bom! boom! Looky, little Jane an’ Jim! Will you only look at him, A-humpin’ an’ a-thumpin’ with his bam! bom! bim! […]

Sometimes I keep From going to sleep, To hear the katydids “cheep-cheep!” And think they say Their prayers that way; But katydids don’t have to pray! I listen when They cheep again And so, I think, they’re singing then! But, no; I’m wrong,– The sound’s too long And all-alike to be a song! I think, […]

O big old tree, so tall an’ fine, Where all us childern swings an’ plays, Though neighbers says you’re on the line Between Pa’s house an’ Mr. Gray’s,– Us childern used to almost fuss, Old Tree, about you when we ‘d play.– We’d argy you belonged to us, An’ them Gray-kids the other way! Till […]

“When little ‘Pollus Morton he’s A-go’ to speak a piece, w’y, nen The Teacher smiles an’ says ‘at she’s Most proud, of all her little men An’ women in her school–’cause ‘Poll He allus speaks the best of all. An’ nen she’ll pat him on the cheek, An’ hold her finger up at you Before […]

We’re The Twins from Aunt Marinn’s, Igo and Ago. When Dad comes, the show begins!– Iram, coram, dago. Dad he says he named us two Igo and Ago For a poem he always knew, Iram, coram, dago. Then he was a braw Scotchman– Igo and Ago.– Now he’s Scotch-Amer-i-can. Iram, coram, dago. “Hey!” he cries, […]

When Bess gave her Dollies a Tea, said she,– “It’s unpolite, when they’s Company, To say you’ve drinked two cups, you see,– But say you’ve drinked a couple of tea.”

When Old Folks they wuz young like us An’ little as you an’ me,– Them wuz the best times ever wuz Er ever goin’ to be!

When we hear Uncle Sidney tell About the long-ago An’ old, old friends he loved so well When he was young–My-oh!– Us childern all wish we’d ‘a’ bin A-livin’ then with Uncle,–so We could a-kindo’ happened in On them old friends he used to know!– The good, old-fashioned people– The hale, hard-working people– The kindly […]

Picnics is fun ‘at’s purty hard to beat. I purt’-nigh ruther go to them than eat. I purt’-nigh ruther go to them than go With our Charlotty to the Trick-Dog Show.

Pa he bringed me here to stay ‘Til my Ma she’s well.–An’ nen He’s go’ hitch up, Chris’mus-day, An’ come take me back again Wher’ my Ma’s at! Won’t I be Tickled when he comes fer me! My Ma an’ my A’nty they ‘Uz each-uvver’s sisters. Pa– A’nty telled me, th’ other day,– He comed […]

When two little boys–renowned but for noise– Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy!– May hurt a whole school, and the head it employs, Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy! Such loud and hilarious pupils indeed Need learning–and yet something further they need, Though fond hearts that love them may sorrow and bleed. Hik-tee-dik! Billy and Buddy! O the schoolmarm […]

Uncle he says ‘at ‘way down in the sea Ever’thing’s ist like it used to be:– He says they’s mermaids, an’ mermens, too, An’ little merchildern, like me an’ you– Little merboys, with tops an’ balls, An’ little mergirls, with little merdolls. Uncle Sidney’s vurry proud Of little Leslie-Janey, ‘Cause she’s so smart, an’ goes […]

[1869] Now, Tudens, you sit on this knee–and ‘scuse It having no side-saddle on;–and, Jeems, You sit on this–and don’t you wobble so And chug my old shins with your coppertoes;– And, all the rest of you, range round someway,– Ride on the rockers and hang to the arms Of our old-time splint-bottom carryall!– Do […]

Old Bob White’s a funny bird!– Funniest you ever heard!– Hear him whistle,–“Old–Bob–White!” You can hear him, clean from where He’s ‘way ‘crosst the wheat-field there, Whistlin’ like he didn’t care– “Old-Bob-White!” Whistles alluz ist the same– So’s we won’t fergit his name!– Hear him say it?–“Old–Bob–White!” There! he’s whizzed off down the lane– Gone […]

O here’s a little rhyme for the Spring- or Summer-time– An a-ho-winky-tooden-an-a-ho!– Just a little bit o’ tune you can twitter, May or June, An a-ho-winky-tooden-an-a-ho! It’s a song that soars and sings, As the birds that twang their wings Or the katydids and things Thus and so, don’t you know, An a-ho-winky-tooden-an-a-ho! It’s a […]

Us-folks is purty pore–but Ma She’s waitin’–two years more–tel Pa He serve his term out. Our Pa he– He’s in the Penitenchurrie! Now don’t you never tell!–’cause Sis, The baby, she don’t know he is.– ‘Cause she wuz only four, you know, He kissed her last an’ hat to go! Pa alluz liked Sis best […]

1 THE DINERS IN THE KITCHEN Our dog Fred Et the bread. Our dog Dash Et the hash. Our dog Pete Et the meat. Our dog Davy Et the gravy. Our dog Toffy Et the coffee. Our dog Jake Et the cake. Our dog Trip Et the dip. And–the worst, From the first,– Our dog […]

The Jaybird he’s my favorite Of all the birds they is! I think he’s quite a stylish sight In that blue suit of his: An’ when he’ lights an’ shuts his wings, His coat’s a “cutaway”– I guess it’s only when he sings You’d know he wuz a jay. I like to watch him when […]