Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes
by
The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
The Bountiful Beetle,
who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn’t rain,
and left it at home when it did.
The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
The Dolomphious Duck,
who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
with a Runcible Spoon.
The Enthusiastic Elephant,
who ferried himself across the water with the
Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
The Fizzgiggious Fish,
who always walked about upon Stilts,
because he had no legs.
The Good-natured Grey Gull,
who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
across the river, because he could not swim.
The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
and bought a Fish for her Supper.
The Inventive Indian,
who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
Stupendous Silver Spoon.
The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
The Kicking Kangaroo,
who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
with Blue spots.
The Lively Learned Lobster,
who mended his own Clothes with
a Needle and Thread.
The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
who played a merry minuet on the
Piano-forte.
The Nutritious Newt,
who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
for his grand-daughter.
The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
who wore Boots to keep his
feet quite dry.
The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
with his Spectacles.
The Queer Querulous Quail,
who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
a Tin Tea-kettle.
The Rural Runcible Raven,
who wore a White Wig and flew away
with the Carpet Broom.
The Scroobious Snake,
who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
fear he should bite anybody.
The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
who beat a Drum all day long in the
middle of the wilderness.
The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
always covered by his Umbrella.
The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
Volume bound in Vellum.
The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
Flute with a Morning Cap.
The Excellent Double-extra XX
imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
long while ago.
The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
who carried five Monkeys on his back all
the way to Jellibolee.