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Nonsense Alphabets
by [?]


A

A was an Area Arch
Where washerwomen sat;
They made a lot of lovely starch
To starch Papa’s Cravat.

B

B was a Bottle blue,
Which was not very small;
Papa he filled it full of beer,
And then he drank it all.

C

C was Papa’s gray Cat,
Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
She pulled him by his twirly tail
All about the house.

D

D was Papa’s white Duck,
Who had a curly tail;
One day it ate a great fat frog,
Besides a leetle snail.

E

E was a little Egg,
Upon the breakfast table;
Papa came in and ate it up
As fast as he was able.

F

T was a tumbler full
Of Punch all hot and good;
Papa he drank it up, when in
The middle of a wood.

U

U was a silver urn,
Full of hot scalding water;
Papa said, “If that Urn were mine,
I’d give it to my daughter!”

V

V was a Villain; once
He stole a piece of beef.
Papa he said, “Oh, dreadful man!
That Villain is a Thief!”

W

W was a Watch of Gold:
It told the time of day,
So that Papa knew when to come,
And when to go away.

X

X was King Xerxes, whom
Papa much wished to know;
But this he could not do, because
Xerxes died long ago.

Y

Y was a Youth, who kicked
And screamed and cried like mad;
Papa he said, “Your conduct is
Abominably bad!”

Z

Z was a Zebra striped
And streaked with lines of black;
Papa said once, he thought he’d like
A ride upon his back.