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The Erratic Rat
by [?]


There was a ridiculous Rat
Who was awfully puffy and fat.
“I’ll carry,” he said,
“This plate on my head,
‘Twill answer in place of a hat.”

And then he remarked with a frown,
“I suppose that I must have a gown;
I’ll make me a kilt
Of this old crazy-quilt,
To wear when I’m going to town.

“And of course, though the weather is warm,
It may be there’ll come up a storm;
An umbrella I’ll make
Of a caraway cake,
It’ll match with my whole uniform.

And I’ll carry a bottle of ink
In case I should wish for a drink;
And this flat-iron so sweet
I’ll take with me to eat,
And now I am ready, I think.”