ON HEARING A LANDLORD ACCUSED (FALSELY, FOR
ALL THE BARD CAN SAY) OF NEGLECTING ONE OF THE
NUMEROUS WHITE HORSES THAT WERE OR WERE NOT
CONNECTED WITH ALFRED THE GREAT
If you have picked your lawn of leaves and snails,
If you have told your valet, even with oaths,
Once a week or so, to brush your clothes.
If you have dared to clean your teeth, or nails,
While the Horse upon the holy mountain fails–
Then God that Alfred to his earth betrothes
Send on you screaming all that honour loathes,
Horsewhipping, Hounsditch, debts, and Daily Mails.
Can you not even conserve? For if indeed
The White Horse fades; then closer creeps the fight
When we shall scour the face of England white,
Plucking such men as you up like a weed,
And fling them far beyond a shaft shot right
When Wessex went to battle for the creed.