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A Princess Of Grub Street
by [?]

“Though–or, rather, because–VANDERHOFFEN was a child of the French Revolution, and inherited his social, political and religious–or, rather, anti-religious–views from the French writers of the eighteenth century, England was not ready for him and the unshackled individualism for which he at first contended. Recognizing this fact, he turned to an order of writing begotten of the deepest popular needs and addressed to the best intelligence of the great middle classes of the community.”

Now emperors bide their times’ rebuff
I would not be a king–enough
Of woe it is to love;
The paths of power are steep and rough,
And tempests reign above.

I would not climb the imperial throne;
‘Tis built on ice which fortune’s sun
Thaws in the height of noon.
Then farewell, kings, that squeak ‘Ha’ done!’
To time’s full-throated tune.

PAUL VANDERHOFFEN.–Emma and Caroline.

It is questionable if the announcement of the death of their Crown Prince, Hilary, upon the verge of his accession to the throne, aroused more than genteel regret among the inhabitants of Saxe-Kesselberg. It is indisputable that in diplomatic circles news of this horrible occurrence was indirectly conceded in 1803 to smack of a direct intervention of Providence. For to consider all the havoc dead Prince Fribble–such had been his sobriquet–would have created, Dei gratia, through his pilotage of an important grand-duchy (with an area of no less than eighty-nine square miles) was less discomfortable now prediction was an academic matter.

And so the editors of divers papers were the victims of a decorous anguish, court-mourning was decreed, and that wreckage which passed for the mutilated body of Prince Hilary was buried with every appropriate honor. Within the week most people had forgotten him, for everybody was discussing the execution of the Duc d’Enghein. And the aged unvenerable Grand-Duke of Saxe-Kesselberg died too in the same March; and afterward his other grandson, Prince Augustus, reigned in the merry old debauchee’s stead.

Prince Hilary was vastly pleased. His scheme for evading the tedious responsibilities of sovereignty had been executed without a hitch; he was officially dead; and, on the whole, standing bareheaded between a miller and laundress, he had found his funeral ceremonies to be unimpeachably conducted. He assumed the name of Paul Vanderhoffen, selected at random from the novel he was reading when his postchaise conveyed him past the frontier of Saxe-Kesselberg. Freed, penniless, and thoroughly content, he set about amusing himself–having a world to frisk in–and incidentally about the furnishing of his new friend Paul Vanderhoffen with life’s necessaries.

It was a little more than two years later that the good-natured Earl of Brudenel suggested to Lady John Claridge that she could nowhere find a more eligible tutor for her son than young Vanderhoffen.

“Hasn’t a shilling, ma’am, but one of the most popular men in London. His poetry book was subscribed for by the Prince Regent and half the notables of the kingdom. Capital company at a dinner-table–stutters, begad, like a What-you-may-call-’em, and keeps everybody in a roar–and when he’s had his whack of claret, he sings his own songs to the piano, you know, and all that sort of thing, and has quite put Tommy Moore’s nose out of joint. Nobody knows much about him, but that don’t matter with these literary chaps, does it now? Goes everywhere, ma’am–quite a favorite at Carlton House–a highly agreeable, well-informed man, I can assure you–and probably hasn’t a shilling to pay the cabman. Deuced odd, ain’t it? But Lord Lansdowne is trying to get him a place–spoke to me about a tutorship, ma’am, in fact, just to keep Vanderhoffen going, until some registrarship or other falls vacant. Now, I ain’t clever and that sort of thing, but I quite agree with Lansdowne that we practical men ought to look out for these clever fellows–see that they don’t starve in a garret, like poor What’s-his-name, don’t you know?”