PAGE 17
The Register
by
SHE: “While you were giving your good resolutions a rest?”
HE: “While I was giving my good resolutions a rest.”
SHE: “And that accounts for your determination to humble yourself so?”
HE: “It seemed perfectly providential that I should have known just what conditions you were going to exact of me.”
SHE: “Oh, don’t make light of it! I can tell you it’s a very serious matter.”
HE: “It was very serious for me when you didn’t meet my self- abasement as you had led me to expect you would.”
SHE: “Don’t make fun! I’m trying to think whether I can forgive you.”
HE, with insinuation: “Don’t you believe you could think better if you put your head on my shoulder?”
SHE: “Nonsense! Then I should forgive you without thinking.” After a season of reflection: “No, I CAN’T forgive you. I never could forgive eavesdropping. It’s TOO low.”
HE, in astonishment: “Why, you did it yourself!”
SHE: “But you began it. Besides, it’s very different for a man. Women are weak, poor, helpless creatures. They have to use finesse. But a man should be above it.”
HE: “You said you could forgive me anything.”
SHE: “Ah, but I didn’t know what you’d been doing!”
HE, with pensive resignation, and a feint of going: “Then I suppose it’s all over between us.”
SHE, relenting: “If you could think of any reason WHY I should forgive you” –
HE: “I can’t.”
SHE, after consideration: “Do you suppose Mr. Grumage, or Grimidge, heard too?”
HE: “No; Grinnidge is a very high-principled fellow, and wouldn’t listen; besides, he wasn’t there, you know.”
SHE: “Well, then, I will forgive you on these grounds.” He instantly catches her to his heart. “But these alone, remember.”
HE, rapturously: “Oh, on any!”
SHE, tenderly: “And you’ll always be devoted? And nice? And not try to provoke me? Or neglect me? Or anything?”
HE: “Always! Never!”
SHE: “Oh, you dear, sweet, simple old thing–how I DO love you!”
GRINNIDGE, who has been listening attentively to every word at the register at his side: “Ransom, if you don’t want me to go stark mad, SHUT THE REGISTER!”
RANSOM, about to comply: “Oh, poor old man! I forgot it was open!”
MISS REED, preventing him: “No! If he has been vile enough to listen at a register, let him suffer. Come, sit down here, and I’ll tell you just when I began to care for you. It was long before the cow. Do you remember that first morning after you arrived”
[She drags him close to the register, so that every word may tell upon the envious Grinnidge, on whose manifestations of acute despair, a rapid curtain descends.]