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DOC

. But what can it be? Now, come, let me know the cause of their dispute.

GOR

. Sir …

DOC

. But in a few words …

GOR

. Yes, yes; but put on your hat.

DOC

. Hat; that is bonnet. Do you know what bonnet comes from?

GOR

. No.

DOC

. It comes from bonum est, it is good, a thing which is good, because it saves one from colds and coughs.

GOR

. Indeed! I did not know that.

DOC

. Now quick, the subject of your quarrel?

GOR

. This is what happened.

DOC

. I hope you are not a man to keep me long when I pray you not to do so. I have some pressing business which calls me to town; still, if I can bring peace to your family, I am willing to stop a moment.

GOR

. I shall soon have done.

DOC

. Be quick, then.

GOR

. It will be said in a moment.

DOC

. We must acknowledge, Mr. Gorgibus, that it is a wonderful gift to be able to say things in a few words, and that great talkers, instead of being heard, become often so wearisome that one cannot listen to them; virtutem primam esse puta compescere linguam. Yes, the best quality of an honest man is silence.

GOR

. You must know then …

DOC

. There are three things which Socrates used to recommend particularly to his disciples: to be careful of one’s actions, to be sober in eating, and to say things in a few words. Begin, Mr. Gorgibus.

GOR

. It is my wish to do so.

DOC

. In a few words, without ceremony, without indulging in a long speech: cut it short with an apophthegm;[6] quick, quick, Mr. Gorgibus, make haste, avoid prolixity.

GOR

. Suffer me to speak then….

DOC

. That’s enough Mr. Gorgibus, you speak too much. Somebody else must tell me what was the cause of their quarrel.

VILL

. You must know, sir, that …

DOC

. You are an ignoramus, an unlearned man, ignorant of all good rules; an ass, in plain English. What! you begin a discourse without a word of exordium! Some one else must tell me what happened; will you, young lady, tell me the particulars of all this noise?

ANG

. Do you see here my fat rascal, my wine-barrel of a husband …

DOC

. Gently, if you please, speak with respect of your husband when you are under the nose of a doctor like me.

ANG

. Ah! I should just think so, doctor! I care little for you or your doctrine, and I am a doctor whenever I please.

DOC

. You, a doctor when you please. A nice doctor you make. You seem to me to do much as you wish…. But, I say, tell me the subject of your uproar.

BAR

. Sir, your honour …

DOC

. You begin well. “Your honour!” this word has something flattering to the ear, something full of magniloquence; “your honour!”

BAR

. According to my will.

DOC

. Quite right…. “According to my will!” the will speaks of a wish, the wish presupposes means to come to one’s ends, and the end presupposes an object. It is well said, “according to my will!”