FullReads

MADAM POTIPHAR.
Come, my dear.

( They go toward the door.)
I am so glad you liked our garden–

They go out.

POTIPHAR.
( turning to Joseph )

What were you going to say, Joseph?

JOSEPH.
You asked me about my accounts.
I was about to suggest that I show them to
you tonight, when you return from your ride.

POTIPHAR.
( alarmed )
No! No! I don’t want to see them. . . .
I just want to know that everything is getting on well.

JOSEPH.
Everything is getting along quite well.

POTIPHAR.
Very good. I have complete confidence in you. . . . Joseph
–you have a mathematical mind; how long would you say
it would take a woman to do her hair?

JOSEPH.
Not less than half an hour, sir–especially if she has
something to talk about with another woman while she is doing it.

POTIPHAR.
( surprised )

What should they have to talk about?

JOSEPH.
Secrets.

POTIPHAR.
Secrets?

JOSEPH.
What things are women especially interested in, sir?

POTIPHAR.
Dress, perhaps?

JOSEPH.
Perhaps.

POTIPHAR.
Housekeeping?

JOSEPH.
I doubt it, sir.

POTIPHAR.
Joseph, you perturb me. Besides food and dress, there is only one subject, so far as I am aware, of interest to women. I hope you do not imply–

JOSEPH.
Far be it from me, sir, to indulge in implications,
with respect to an honoured guest, in the household in which I am a slave.

POTIPHAR.
Still–it is hard to tell, sometimes.
Women are mysterious creatures. What do you think of them, Joseph?

JOSEPH.
I try not to, sir.

POTIPHAR.
You are a wise man. Yes, I suppose you have your difficulties, too. The morality of the slave-girls is not all it should be. But if you will believe me, the morality of our women, too–

JOSEPH.
Ah, sir!

POTIPHAR.
Yes, Joseph, it leaves something to be desired.
If you knew the advances that have been made to me by certain great ladies–

JOSEPH.
If you will permit me to say so, sir, you have my sympathy.

POTIPHAR.
Joseph–women are the very devil, aren’t they?

JOSEPH.
They are a great trial, sir.
One must learn the secret of dealing with them.

POTIPHAR.
Do you know that secret?

JOSEPH.
I do, sir.

POTIPHAR.
I am inclined to believe that you really do.
You are a remarkable man. But then, you have
a naturally cold disposition. It must come easy to you.

JOSEPH.
Not so easy as you may think, sir.
Temperamentally, I am very susceptible to the charms of women.

POTIPHAR.
Then you are more remarkable even than I thought.
Come, what is your secret?

JOSEPH.
It is not the sort of secret that one gives away for nothing, sir.

POTIPHAR.
I am sorry to see you display such a mercenary disposition, Joseph. But I see that I must come to terms with you. How much will you take to teach me your secret?