FullReads

KHIRIN.
[In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN]

Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do?

SHIPUCHIN.
[Frightened]

No, no! She’ll kick up a row and we aren’t the only people in the building.

MERCHUTKINA.
Your excellency.

KHIRIN.
[In a tearful voice]

But I’ve got to finish my report! I won’t have time! I won’t!

MERCHUTKINA.
Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it now.

SHIPUCHIN.
[Aside, in dismay]

A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman!

[Politely]
Madam, I’ve already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial concern.

MERCHUTKINA.
Be a father to me, your excellency…. If the doctor’s certificate isn’t enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell them to give me the money!

SHIPUCHIN.
[Panting]

Ouf!

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.
[To MERCHUTKINA]
Mother, haven’t you already been told that you’re disturbing them? What right have you?

MERCHUTKINA.
Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to eat and drink, and just now I didn’t enjoy my coffee at all.

SHIPUCHIN.
[Exhausted]

How much do you want?

MERCHUTKINA.
24 roubles 36 copecks.

SHIPUCHIN.
All right!

[Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and gives it to her]
Here are 25 roubles. Take it and… go!

[KHIRIN coughs angrily.]

MERCHUTKINA.
I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the money.]

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.
[Sits by her husband]

It’s time I went home….
[Looks at watch]

But I haven’t done yet…. I’ll finish in one minute and go away…. What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend the evening at the Berezhnitskys…. It was all right, quite fun, but nothing in particular…. Katya’s devoted Grendilevsky was there, of course…. Well, I talked to Katya, cried, and induced her to talk to Grendilevsky and refuse him. Well, I thought, everything’s, settled the best possible way; I’ve quieted mamma down, saved Katya, and can be quiet myself…. What do you think? Katya and I were going along the avenue, just before supper, and suddenly…

[Excitedly]
And suddenly we heard a shot…. No, I can’t talk about it calmly!

[Waves her handkerchief]
No, I can’t!

SHIPUCHIN.
[Sighs]
Ouf!

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.
[Weeps]

We ran to the summer-house, and there… there poor Grendilevsky was lying… with a pistol in his hand….

SHIPUCHIN.
No, I can’t stand this! I can’t stand it!

[To MERCHUTKINA]
What else do you want?

MERCHUTKINA.
Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job?

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.
[Weeping]

He’d shot himself right in the heart… here…. And the poor man had fallen down senseless…. And he was awfully frightened, as he lay there… and asked for a doctor. A doctor came soon… and saved the unhappy man….

MERCHUTKINA.
Your excellency, can’t my husband go back to his job?

SHIPUCHIN.
No, I can’t stand this! [Weeps] I can’t stand it! [Stretches out both his hands in despair to KHIRIN] Drive her away! Drive her away, I implore you!

KHIRIN.
[Goes up to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA]
Get out of this!

SHIPUCHIN.
Not her, but this one… this awful woman….

[Points]
That one!

KHIRIN.
[Not understanding, to TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA]

Get out of this!

[Stamps]
Get out!

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA.
What? What are you doing? Have you taken leave of your senses?

SHIPUCHIN.
It’s awful? I’m a miserable man! Drive her out! Out with her!