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THE AGENT.
Your aunt, Miss Brooke–and
( to the young woman )
your uncle, Mr. Egerton–

The young people turn and stare at each other in amazement.

THE YOUNG MAN.
Egerton! Are you Helen Egerton?

HELEN.
And are you George Brooke?

THE AGENT.
Your aunt and uncle have just discovered each other up at the house, and they have arranged for you all to take dinner together tonight, and then go to a ten-day house-party at Mr. Egerton’s place on Long Island. ( Grimly ) The reason of all this will be plain to you. They want you two to get married.

GEORGE.
Then we’re done for!
We’ll have to get married now whether we want to or not!

HELEN.
What! Just to please them ? I shan’t do it!

GEORGE.
( gloomily )

You don’t know my Aunt Maria.

HELEN.
And Tubby will try to bully me, I suppose.
But I won’t do it–no matter what he says!

THE AGENT.
Pardon what may seem an impertinence, Miss;
but is it really true that you don’t want to marry this young man?

HELEN.
( flaming )

I suppose because you saw me in his arms–!
Oh, I want to, all right, but–

THE AGENT.
( mildly )

Then what seems to be the trouble?

HELEN.
I–oh, you explain to him, George.

She goes to the bench and sits down.

GEORGE.
Well, it’s this way.
As you may have deduced from what you saw,
we are madly in love with each other–

HELEN.
( from the bench )

But I’m not madly in love with municipal ownership.
That’s the chief difficulty.

GEORGE.
No, the chief difficulty is that I refuse to
entertain even a platonic affection for the tango.

HELEN.
( irritably )

I told you the tango had gone out long ago!

GEORGE.
Well, then, the maxixe.

HELEN.
Stupid!

GEORGE.
And there you have it! No doubt it seems ridiculous to you.

THE AGENT.
( gravely )

Not at all, my boy. I’ve known marriage to go to smash on far less than that. When you come to think of it, a taste for dancing and a taste for municipal ownership stand at the two ends of the earth away from each other. They represent two different ways of taking life. And if two people who live in the same house can’t agree on those two things, they’d disagree on a hundred things that came up every day. And what’s the use for two different kinds of beings to try to live together? It doesn’t work, no matter how much, love there is between them.

GEORGE.
( rushing up to him in surprise

and gratification, and shaking his hand warmly )

Then you’re on our side! You’ll help us not to get married!

THE AGENT.
Your aunt is very set on it–and your uncle, too, Miss!

HELEN.
We must find some way to get out of it, or they’ll have us cooped up together in that house before we know it. ( Rising and coming over to the Agent ) Can’t you think up some scheme?