PAGE 7
Sweet-And-Twenty: A Comedy
by
Good-bye!
SHE.
( drowning in his eyes )
Good-bye!
They cling to each other, and are presently lost in
a passionate embrace. He breaks loose and stamps away,
then turns to her.
HE.
Damn it all, we do love each other!
SHE.
( wiping her eyes )
What a pity that is the only taste we have in common!
HE.
Do you suppose that is enough?
SHE.
I wish it were!
HE.
A month of happiness–
SHE.
Yes!
HE.
And then–wretchedness,
SHE.
No–never!
HE.
We mustn’t do it.
SHE.
I suppose not.
HE.
Come, let us control ourselves.
SHE.
Yes, let’s
( They take hands again.)
HE.
( with an effort )
I wish you happiness.
I–I’ll go to Europe for a year. Try to forget me.
SHE.
I shall be married when you get back–perhaps.
HE.
I hope it’s somebody that’s not bald and fat and forty. Otherwise–!
SHE.
And you–for goodness sake! marry a girl
that’s very young and very, very pretty. That will help.
HE.
We mustn’t prolong this. If we stay together another minute–
SHE.
Then go!
HE.
I can’t go!
SHE.
You must, darling! You must!
HE.
Oh, if somebody would only come along!
They are leaning toward each other, dizzy upon the brink of another kiss, when somebody does come–a short, mild-looking man in a derby hat. There is an odd gleam in his eyes.
THE INTRUDER.
( startled )
Excuse me!
They turn and stare at him, but their hands cling fast to each other.
SHE.
( faintly )
The Agent!
THE AGENT.
( in despairing accents )
Too late! Too late!
THE YOUNG MAN.
No! Just in time!
THE AGENT.
Too late, I say! I will go.
He turns away.
THE YOUNG MAN.
No! Stay!
THE AGENT.
What’s the use? It has already begun. What good can I do now?
THE YOUNG MAN.
I’ll show you what good you can do now. Come here!
( The Agent approaches.),
Can you unloose my hands from those of this young woman?
THE YOUNG WOMAN.
( haughtily, releasing herself and walking away )
You needn’t trouble! I can do it myself.
THE YOUNG MAN.
Thank you. It was utterly beyond my power.
( To the Agent )
–Will you kindly take hold of me and move me over there?
( The Agent propels him away from the girl.)
Thank you. At this distance I can perhaps say
farewell in a seemly and innocuous manner.
THE AGENT.
Young man, you will not say farewell to that
young lady for ten days-and perhaps never!
THE YOUNG WOMAN.
What!
THE AGENT.
They have arranged it all.
THE YOUNG MAN.
Who have arranged what ?