PAGE 4
Sweet-And-Twenty: A Comedy
by
SHE.
( faintly )
That’s enough!
HE.
And I could die for you and be glad of the chance. It’s perfectly absurd, but it’s absolutely true. I’ve never spoken to you before, and heaven knows I may never get a chance to speak to you again, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say this to you now. I love you! love you! love you! Now tell me I’m a fool. Tell me to go. Anything–I’ve said my say. . . . Why don’t you speak?
SHE.
I–I’ve nothing to say–except–except that I–well
–( almost inaudibly )
I feel some of those symptoms myself.
HE.
( triumphantly )
You love me!
SHE.
I–don’t know. Yes. Perhaps.
HE.
Then kiss me!
SHE.
( doubtfully )
No. . . .
HE.
Kiss me!
SHE.
( tormentedly )
Oh, what’s the use?
HE.
I don’t know. I don’t care. I only know that we love each other.
SHE.
( after a moment’s hesitation, desperately )
I don’t care, either! I do want to kiss you.
She does. . . . He is the first to awake from the ecstasy.
HE.
It is wrong–
SHE.
( absently )
Is it?
HE.
But, oh heaven! kiss me again! ( She does.)
SHE.
Darling!
HE.
Do you suppose any one is likely to come this way?
SHE.
No.
HE.
( speculatively )
Your husband is probably still in the portrait gallery….
SHE.
My husband!
( Drawing away )
What do you mean?
( Thoroughly awake now )
You didn’t think–?
( She jumps up and laughs convulsively.)
You thought poor old Tubby was my husband?
HE.
( staring up at her bewildered )
Why, isn’t he your husband?
SHE.
( scornfully )
No!! He’s my uncle!
HE.
Your unc–
SHE.
Yes, of course!
( Indignantly )
Do you suppose I would be married to a man that’s
fat and bald and forty years old?
HE.
( distressed )
I–I beg your pardon. I did think so.
SHE.
Just because you saw me with him? How ridiculous!
HE.
It was a silly mistake. But–the things you said!
You spoke so– realistically–about marriage.
SHE.
It was your marriage I was speaking about.
( With hasty compunction )
Oh, I beg your–
HE.
My marriage!
( He rises.)
Good heavens! And to whom, pray, did you think I was married?
( A light dawning )
To Maria? Why, Maria is my aunt!
SHE.
Yes–of course. How stupid of me.
HE.
Let’s get this straight. Are you married to anybody ?
SHE.
Certainly not. As if I would let myself be made love to,
if I were a married woman!
HE.
Now don’t put on airs. You did something quite as improper.
You made love to a married man.
SHE
.
I didn’t.