PAGE 10
Sweet-And-Twenty: A Comedy
by
THE AGENT.
If you are wise, you will build yourselves a little nest secretly in the woods, away from civilization, and you will run away together to that nest whenever you are in the mood. A nest so small that it will hold only two beings and one thought–the thought of love. And then you will come back refreshed to civilization, where every soul is different from every other soul–you will let each other alone, forget each other, and do your own work in peace. Do you understand?
HELEN.
He means we should occupy separate sides of the house, I think.
Or else that we should live apart and only see each other on week-ends.
I’m not sure which.
THE AGENT.
( passionately )
I mean that you should not stifle love with civilization, nor encumber civilization with love. What have they to do with each other? You think you want a fellow student of economics. You are wrong. You think you want a dancing partner. You are mistaken. You want a revelation of the glory of the universe.
HELEN.
( to George, confidentially )
It’s blithering nonsense, of course.
But it was something like that–a while ago.
GEORGE.
( bewilderedly )
Yes; when we knew it was our first kiss and thought it was to be our last.
THE AGENT.
( fiercely )
A kiss is always the first kiss and the last–or it is nothing.
HELEN.
( conclusively )
He’s quite mad.
GEORGE.
Absolutely.
THE AGENT.
Mad? Of course I am mad. But–
He turns suddenly, and subsides as a man in a, guard’s uniform enters.
THE GUARD.
Ah, here you are! Thought you’d given us the slip, did you?
( To the others )
Escaped from the Asylum, he did, a week ago, and got a job here.
We’ve been huntin’ him high and low. Come along now!
GEORGE.
( recovering with difficulty the power of speech )
What–what’s the matter with him?
THE GUARD.
Matter with him? He went crazy, he did, readin’ the works of Bernard Shaw. And if he wasn’t in the insane asylum he’d be in jail. He’s a bigamist, he is. He married fourteen women. But none of ’em would go on the witness stand against him. Said he was an ideal husband, they did. Fourteen of ’em! But otherwise he’s perfectly harmless.
THE AGENT.
( pleasantly )
Perfectly harmless! Yes, perfectly harmless!
He is led out.
HELEN.
That explains it all!
GEORGE.
Yes–and yet I feel there was something in what he was saying.
HELEN.
Well–are we going to get married or not?
We’ve got to decide that before we face my uncle and your aunt.
GEORGE.
Of course we’ll get married. You have your work and I mine, and–
HELEN.
Well, if we do, then you can’t have that sunny
south room for a study. I want it for the nursery.
GEORGE.
The nursery!
HELEN.
Yes; babies, you know!
GEORGE.
Good heavens!