FullReads

What kind of performance is this on the Sabbath morning? [Catches sight of the chopping-block] My, what a mess you have made!–What’s the meaning of all this? And the way you shout and carry on!

JULIA.
You are a woman, Christine, and you are my friend. Beware of that scoundrel!

JEAN.
[A little shy and embarrassed]

While the ladies are discussing I’ll get myself a shave.

[Slinks out to the right.]

JULIA.
You must understand me, and you must listen to me.

CHRISTINE.
No, really, I don’t understand this kind of trolloping. Where are you going in your travelling-dress–and he with his hat on–what?–What?

JULIA.
Listen, Christine, listen, and I’ll tell you everything–

CHRISTINE.
I don’t want to know anything–

JULIA.
You must listen to me–

CHRISTINE.
What is it about? Is it about this nonsense with Jean? Well, I don’t care about it at all, for it’s none of my business. But if you’re planning to get him away with you, we’ll put a stop to that!

JULIA.
[Extremely nervous]

Please try to be quiet, Christine, and listen to me. I cannot stay here, and Jean cannot stay here–and so we must leave—

CHRISTINE.
Hm, hm!

JULIA.
[Brightening. up]

But now I have got an idea, you know. Suppose all three of us should leave–go abroad–go to Switzerland and start a hotel together–I have money, you know–and Jean and I could run the whole thing–and you, I thought, could take charge of the kitchen–Wouldn’t that be fine!–Say yes, now! And come along with us! Then everything is fixed!–Oh, say yes!

[She puts her arms around CHRISTINE and pats her.]

CHRISTINE.
[Coldly and thoughtfully]

Hm, hm!

JULIA.
[Presto tempo]

You have never travelled, Christine–you must get out and have a look at the world. You cannot imagine what fun it is to travel on a train–constantly new people–new countries— and then we get to Hamburg and take in the Zoological Gardens in passing–that’s what you like–and then we go to the theatres and to the opera–and when we get to Munich, there, you know, we have a lot of museums, where they keep Rubens and Raphael and all those big painters, you know–Haven’t you heard of Munich, where King Louis used to live–the king, you know, that went mad–And then we’ll have a look at his castle–he has still some castles that are furnished just as in a fairy tale–and from there it isn’t very far to Switzerland–and the Alps, you know–just think of the Alps, with snow on top of them in the middle of the summer–and there you have orange trees and laurels that are green all the year around–

[JEAN is seen in the right wing, sharpening his razor on a strop which he holds between his teeth and his left hand; he listens to the talk with a pleased mien and nods approval now and then.]

JULIA.
[Tempo prestissimo]

And then we get a hotel–and I sit in the office, while Jean is outside receiving tourists–and goes out marketing–and writes letters–That’s a life for you–Then the train whistles, and the ‘bus drives up, and it rings upstairs, and it rings in the restaurant–and then I make out the bills–and I am going to salt them, too–You can never imagine how timid tourists are when they come to pay their bills! And you–you will sit like a queen in the kitchen. Of course, you are not going to stand at the stove yourself. And you’ll have to dress neatly and nicely in order to show yourself to people–and with your looks–yes, I am not flattering you–you’ll catch a husband some fine day–some rich Englishman, you know—for those fellows are so easy