FullReads

JULIA
[To CHRISTINE]

Are you and Jean engaged, that he’s so familiar with you?

CHRISTINE.
Engaged? Well, in a way. We call it that.

JULIA.
Call it?

CHRISTINE.
Well, Miss Julia, you have had a fellow of your own, and–

JULIA.
We were really engaged–

CHRISTINE.
But it didn’t come to anything just the same–

[JEAN enters, dressed in black frock coat and black derby.]

JULIA.
Tres gentil, Monsieur Jean! Tres gentil!

JEAN.
Vous voulez plaisanter, Madame!

JULIA.
Et vous voulez parler francais! Where did you learn it?

JEAN.
In Switzerland, while I worked as sommelier in one of the big hotels at Lucerne.

JULIA.
But you look like a real gentleman in your frock coat! Charming!

[Sits down at the table.]

JEAN.
Oh, you flatter me.

JULIA.
[Offended]

Flatter–you!

JEAN.
My natural modesty does not allow me to believe that you could be paying genuine compliments to one like me, and so I dare to assume that you are exaggerating, or, as we call it, flattering.

JULIA.
Where did you learn to use your words like that? You must have been to the theatre a great deal?

JEAN.
That, too. I have been to a lot of places.

JULIA.
But you were born in this neighbourhood?

JEAN.
My father was a cotter on the county attorney’s property right by here, and I can recall seeing you as a child, although you, of course, didn’t notice me.

JULIA.
No, really!

JEAN.
Yes, and I remember one time in particular–but of that I can’t speak.

JULIA.
Oh, yes, do! Why–just for once.

JEAN.
No, really, I cannot do it now. Another time, perhaps.

JULIA.
Another time is no time. Is it as bad as that?

JEAN.
It isn’t bad, but it comes a little hard. Look at that one! [Points to CHRISTINE, who has fallen asleep on a chair by the stove.]

JULIA.
She’ll make a pleasant wife. And perhaps she snores, too.

JEAN.
No, she doesn’t, but she talks in her sleep.

JULIA.
[Cynically]

How do you know?

JEAN.
[Insolently]

I have heard it.

[Pause during which they study each other.]

JULIA.
Why don’t you sit down?

JEAN.
It wouldn’t be proper in your presence.

JULIA.
But if I order you to do it?

JEAN.
Then I obey.

JULIA.
Sit down, then!–But wait a moment! Can you give me something to drink first?

JEAN.
I don’t know what we have got in the icebox. I fear it is nothing but beer.

JULIA.
And you call that nothing? My taste is so simple that I prefer it to wine.

JEAN.
[Takes a bottle of beer from the icebox and opens it; gets a glass and a plate from the cupboard, and serves the beer]

Allow me!

JULIA.
Thank you. Don’t you want some yourself?

JEAN.
I don’t care very much for beer, but if it is a command, of course–

JULIA.
Command?–I should think a polite gentleman might keep his lady company.

JEAN.
Yes, that’s the way it should be. [Opens another bottle and takes out a glass.]