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[An embarrassed pause.]

PERCIVAL. I assure you if I’d had the faintest notion that my passenger was a lady I shouldnt have left you to shift for yourself in that selfish way.

LORD SUMMERHAYS. The lady seems to have shifted for both very effectually, sir.

PERCIVAL. Saved my life. I admit it most gratefully.

TARLETON.I must apologize, madam, for having offered you the civilities appropriate to the opposite sex. And yet, why opposite? We are all human: males and females of the same species. When the dress is the same the distinction vanishes. I’m proud to receive in my house a lady of evident refinement and distinction. Allow me to introduce myself: Tarleton: John Tarleton (seeing conjecture in the passenger’s eye)–yes, yes: Tarleton’s Underwear. My wife, Mrs Tarleton: youll excuse me for having in what I had taken to be a confidence between man and man alluded to her as the Chickabiddy. My daughter Hypatia, who has always wanted some adventure to drop out of the sky, and is now, I hope, satisfied at last. Lord Summerhays: a man known wherever the British flag waves. His son Bentley, engaged to Hypatia. Mr Joseph Percival, the promising son of three highly intellectual fathers.

HYPATIA. [startled] Bentley’s friend? [Bentley nods].

TARLETON.[continuing, to the passenger] May I now ask to be allowed the pleasure of knowing your name?

THE PASSENGER.My name is Lina Szczepanowska [pronouncing it Sh-Chepanovska].

PERCIVAL. Sh– I beg your pardon?

LINA. Szczepanowska.

PERCIVAL. [dubiously] Thank you.

TARLETON.[very politely] Would you mind saying it again?

LINA. Say fish.

TARLETON.Fish.

LINA. Say church.

TARLETON.Church.

LINA. Say fish church.

TARLETON.[remonstrating] But it’s not good sense.

LINA. [inexorable] Say fish church.

TARLETON.Fish church.

LINA. Again.

TARLETON.No, but–[resigning himself] fish church.

LINA. Now say Szczepanowska.

TARLETON.Szczepanowska. Got it, by Gad. [A sibilant whispering becomes audible: they are all saying Sh-ch to themselves]. Szczepanowska! Not an English name, is it?

LINA. Polish. I’m a Pole.

TARLETON.Ah yes. Interesting nation. Lucky people to get the government of their country taken off their hands. Nothing to do but cultivate themselves. Same as we took Gibraltar off the hands of the Spaniards. Saves the Spanish taxpayer. Jolly good thing for us if the Germans took Portsmouth. Sit down, wont you?

[The group breaks up. Johnny and Bentley hurry to the pavilion and fetch the two wicker chairs. Johnny gives his to Lina. Hypatia and Percival take the chairs at the worktable. Lord Summerhays gives the chair at the vestibule end of the writing table to Mrs Tarleton; and Bentley replaces it with a wicker chair, which Lord Summerhays takes. Johnny remains standing behind the worktable, Bentley behind his father.]

MRS TARLETON. [to Lina] Have some tea now, wont you?

LINA. I never drink tea.

TARLETON.[sitting down at the end of the writing table nearest Lina] Bad thing to aeroplane on, I should imagine. Too jumpy. Been up much?

LINA. Not in an aeroplane. Ive parachuted; but thats child’s play.

MRS TARLETON. But arnt you very foolish to run such a dreadful risk?