PAGE 24
Misalliance
by
LORD SUMMERHAYS. [apprehensively] Need we go into that this afternoon?
TARLETON.No; but I wish youd tell the Chickabiddy that the Jinghiskahns eat no end of toasted cheese, and that it’s the secret of their amazing health and long life!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Unfortunately they are neither healthy nor long lived. And they dont eat toasted cheese.
TARLETON.There you are! They would be if they ate it. Anyhow, say what you like, provided the moral is a Welsh rabbit for my supper.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. British morality in a nutshell!
TARLETON.[hugely amused] Yes. Ha ha! Awful hypocrites, aint we?
They are interrupted by excited cries from the grounds.
HYPATIA. | Papa! Mamma! Come out as fast as you can.
| Quick. Quick.
|
BENTLEY. | Hello, governor! Come out. An aeroplane.
| Look, look.
TARLETON. [starting up] Aeroplane! Did he say an aeroplane?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Aeroplane! [A shadow falls on the pavilion; and
some of the glass at the top is shattered and falls on the floor].
[Tarleton and Lord Summerhays rush out through the pavilion
into the garden.]
HYPATIA. | Take care. Take care of the chimney.
|
BENTLEY. | Come this side: it’s coming right
| where youre standing.
|
TARLETON. | Hallo! where the devil are you
| coming? youll have my roof off.
|
LORD SUMMERHAYS| He’s lost control.
MRS TARLETON. Look, look, Hypatia. There are two people in it.
BENTLEY. Theyve cleared it. Well steered!
TARLETON. | Yes; but theyre coming slam into the greenhouse.
|
LORD SUMMERHAYS| Look out for the glass.
|
MRS TARLETON. | Theyll break all the glass. Theyll
| spoil all the grapes.
|
BENTLEY. | Mind where youre coming. He’ll
| save it. No: theyre down.
[An appalling crash of breaking glass is heard. Everybody shrieks.]
MRS TARLETON. | Oh, are they killed? John: are they killed?
|
LORD SUMMERHAYS| Are you hurt? Is anything broken? Can you stand?
|
HYPATIA. | Oh, you must be hurt. Are you sure? Shall I get
| you some water? Or some wine?
|
TARLETON. | Are you all right? Sure you wont have some
| brandy just to take off the shock.
THE AVIATOR.No, thank you. Quite right. Not a scratch. I assure you I’m all right.
BENTLEY. What luck! And what a smash! You are a lucky chap, I can tell you.
[The Aviator and Tarleton come in through the pavilion, followed by Lord Summerhays and Bentley, the Aviator on Tarleton’s right. Bentley passes the Aviator and turns to have an admiring look at him. Lord Summerhays overtakes Tarleton less pointedly on the opposite side with the same object.]