FullReads

THESE sisters eagerly had made one day
An assignation with the lover gay;
To have the entertainment quite complete,
They’d Bacchus, Ceres too, who Venus greet:
With perfect neatness all the meats were served,
And naught from grace and elegancy swerved;
The wines, the custards, jellies, creams, and ice:
The decorations, ev’ry thing was nice;
What pleasing objects and delights were viewed!
The room with sweetest flow’rs fair Flora strewed;
A sort of garden o’er the linen traced
Here lakes of love:–there names entwined were placed;
Magnificence like this the nuns admired,
And such amusements ardently desired.
Their beauty too incited to be free;
A thousand matters filled their souls with glee;
In height the belles were pretty much the same
Like alabaster fair; of perfect frame;
In num’rous corners Cupid nestling lay:
Beneath a stomacher he’d slyly play,
A veil or scapulary, this or that,
Where least the eye of day perceived he sat,
Unless a lover called to mystick bow’rs,
Where he might hearts entwine with chains of flow’rs;
A thousand times a day the urchin flew,
With open arms the sisters to pursue;
Their charms were such in ev’ry air and look,
Both (one by one) he for his mother took.

WITH anxious looks, the ladies thus prepared,
Expected him who all their kindness shared;
Now they bestowed abuse; next fondly praised:
Then of his conduct dark suspicions raised,
Conceived, a new amour him kept away:
What can it be, said one, that makes him stay?
Of honour an affair.–love–sickness–what?
Said t’other whether it be this or that,
If here again his face he ever show,
A pretty trick in turn we’ll let him know.

WHILE thus the couple sought their plot to frame,
A convent porter with a burden came,
For her who kept the stores of ev’ry kind,
Depositary of the whole designed.
‘Twas merely a pretence, as I am told:
The things were not required for young or old;
But she much appetite had got in truth,
Which made her have recourse to such a youth,
Who was regarded, in repasts like these,
A first rate cook that all prepared at ease.

THIS awkward, heavy lout mistook the cell;
By chance upon our ladies’ room he fell,
And knocked with weighty hands: they ope’d the door.
And gave abuse, but soon their anger o’er,
The nuns conceived a treasure they had found,
And, laughing heartily, no longer frowned,
But both exclaimed at once: let’s take this fool;
Of him we easily can make a tool;
As well as t’other, don’t you think he’ll do?
The eldest added:–let’s our whim pursue;
‘Tis well determined;–What were we to get,
That here we waited, and are waiting yet?
Fine words and phrases; nothing of the kind;
This wight ‘s as good, for what we have a mind,
As any bachelor or doctor wise
At all events, for present, he’ll suffice.

SHE rightly judged; his height, form, simple air,
And ev’ry act, so clearly void of care,
Raised expectation; this was AEsop’s man,
He never thought: ’twas all without a plan;
Both ate and drank, and, had he been at will,
Would matters far have pushed, though void of skill.

FAMILIAR grown, the fellow ready seemed,
To execute whate’er was proper deemed;
To serve the convent he was porter made,
And in their wishes nuns of course obeyed.

‘TIS here begins the subject we’ve in view,
The scene that faithfully our painter drew;
Apollo, give me aid, assistance lend,
Enable me, I pray, to comprehend,
Why this mean stupid rustick sat at ease,
And left the sisters (Claudia, formed to please,
And lovely fair Theresa) all the care?
Had he not better done to give a chair?