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The law is the true embodiment
Of everything that’s excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my lords, embody the Law.
The constitutional guardian I
Of pretty young Wards in Chancery,
All very agreeable girls–and none
Are over the age of twenty-one.
A pleasant occupation for
A rather susceptible Chancellor!

But though the compliment implied
Inflates me with legitimate pride,
It nevertheless can’t be denied
That it has its inconvenient side.
For I’m not so old, and not so plain,
And I’m quite prepared to marry again,
But there’d be the deuce to pay in the Lords
If I fell in love with one of my Wards:
Which rather tries my temper, for
I’m such a susceptible Chancellor!

And everyone who’d marry a Ward
Must come to me for my accord:
So in my court I sit all day,
Giving agreeable girls away,
With one for him–and one for he–
And one for you–and one for ye–
And one for thou–and one for thee–
But never, oh never a one for me!
Which is exasperating, for
A highly susceptible Chancellor!