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‘Why, EVERYTHING races, no matter
Whatever its method may be:
The waterfowl hold a regatta;
The ‘possums run heats up a tree;
The emus are constantly sprinting
A handicap out on the plain;
It seems like all nature was hinting,
‘Tis time to be at it again.

‘The cockatoo parrots are talking
Of races to far away lands;
The native companions are walking
A go-as-you-please on the sands;
The little foals gallop for pastime;
The wallabies race down the gap;
Let’s try it once more for the last time,
Bring out the old jacket and cap.

‘And now for a horse; we might try one
Of those that are bred on the place,
But I think it better to buy one,
A horse that has proved he can race.
Let us send down to Sydney to Skinner,
A thorough good judge who can ride,
And ask him to buy us a spinner
To clean out the whole countryside.’

They wrote him a letter as follows:
‘We want you to buy us a horse;
He must have the speed to catch swallows,
And stamina with it of course.
The price ain’t a thing that’ll grieve us,
It’s getting a bad ‘un annoys
The undersigned blokes, and believe us,
We’re yours to a cinder, ‘the boys’.’

He answered: ‘I’ve bought you a hummer,
A horse that has never been raced;
I saw him run over the Drummer,
He held him outclassed and outpaced.
His breeding’s not known, but they state he
Is born of a thoroughbred strain,
I paid them a hundred and eighty,
And started the horse in the train.’

They met him — alas, that these verses
Aren’t up to the subject’s demands —
Can’t set forth their eloquent curses,
FOR PARTNER WAS BACK ON THEIR HANDS.
They went in to meet him in gladness,
They opened his box with delight —
A silent procession of sadness
They crept to the station at night.

And life has grown dull on the station,
The boys are all silent and slow;
Their work is a daily vexation,
And sport is unknown to them now.
Whenever they think how they stranded,
They squeal just like guinea-pigs squeal;
They bit their own hook, and were landed
With fifty pounds loss on the deal.