FullReads

THIS wife and husband, as our hist’ries say,
Each moment squabbled through the passing day;
Their disagreements often would arise
About a petticoat, cards, tables, pies,
Gowns, chairs, dice, summer-houses, in a word,
Things most ridiculous and quite absurd.

WELL might this spouse regret his Hell profound,
When he considered what he’d met on ground.
To make our demon’s wretchedness complete,
Honesta’s relatives, from ev’ry street,
He seemed to marry, since he daily fed
The father, mother, sister (fit to wed,)
And little brother, whom he sent to school;
While MISS he portioned to a wealthy fool.

His utter ruin, howsoe’er, arose
From his attorney-steward that he chose.
What’s that? you ask–a wily sneaking knave,
Who, while his master spends, contrives to save;
Till, in the end, grown rich, the lands he buys,
Which his good lord is forced to sacrifice.

IF, in the course of time, the master take
The place of steward, and his fortune make,
‘Twould only to their proper rank restore,
Those who become just what they were before.

POOR Rod’rick now no other hope had got,
Than what the chance of traffick might allot;
Illusion vain, or doubtful at the best:–
Though some grow rich, yet all are not so blessed.
‘Twas said our husband never would succeed;
And truly, such it seemed to be decreed.
His agents (similar to those we see
In modern days) were with his treasure free;
His ships were wrecked; his commerce came to naught;
Deceived by knaves, of whom he well had thought;
Obliged to borrow money, which to pay,
He was unable at th’ appointed day,
He fled, and with a farmer shelter took,
Where he might hope the bailiffs would not look.

HE told to Matthew, (such the farmer’s name,)
His situation, character, and fame:
By duns assailed, and harassed by a wife,
Who proved the very torment of his life,
He knew no place of safety to obtain,
Like ent’ring other bodies, where ’twas plain,
He might escape the catchpole’s prowling eye,
Honesta’s wrath, and all her rage defy.
From these he promised he would thrice retire;
Whenever Matthew should the same desire:
Thrice, but no more, t’oblige this worthy man,
Who shelter gave when from the fiends he ran.

THE AMBASSADOR commenced his form to change:–
From human frame to frame he ‘gan to range;
But what became his own fantastick state,
Our books are silent, nor the facts relate.

AN only daughter was the first he seized,
Whose charms corporeal much our demon pleased;
But Matthew, for a handsome sum of gold,
Obliged him, at a word, to quit his hold.
This passed at Naples–next to Rome he came,
Where, with another fair, he did the same;
But still the farmer banished him again,
So well he could the devil’s will restrain;
Another weighty purse to him was paid
Thrice Matthew drove him out from belle and maid.

THE king of Naples had a daughter fair,
Admired, adored:–her parents’ darling care;
In wedlock oft by many princes sought;
Within her form, the wily demon thought
He might be sheltered from Honesta’s rage;
And none to drive him thence would dare engage.

NAUGHT else was talked of, in or out of town,
But devils driven by the cunning clown;
Large sums were offered, if, by any art,
He’d make the demon from the fair depart.

AFFLICTED much was Matthew, now to lose
The gold thus tendered, but he could not choose,
For since Belphegor had obliged him thrice,
He durst not hope the demon to entice;
Poor man was he, a sinner, who, by chance,
(He knew not how, it surely was romance,)
Had some few devils, truly, driven out:
Most worthy of contempt without a doubt.
But all in vain:–the man they took by force;
Proceed he must, or hanged he’d be of course.