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When The Mail Came In
by
The boy had decided to go home. We were sorry to see him leave, too, for he had the makings of a real man in him even if he shaved three times a week, but no sooner was the steamer tied than he came plunging into my tent like a moose, laughing and dancing in his first gladness. The mother was well again.
Later I went aboard to give him the last lonesome good wishes of the fellow who stays behind and fights along for another year. The big freighter, with her neat staterooms and long, glass-burdened tables, awoke a perfect panic in me to be going with him, to shake this cruel country and drift back to the home and the wife and the pies like mother made.
I found him on the top deck with the Marceau girl, who was saying good-by to him. There was a look about her I had never seen before, and all at once the understanding and the bitter irony of it struck me. This poor waif hadn’t had enough to stand, so Love had come to her, just as Kink had predicted–a hopeless love which she would have to fight the way she fought the whole world. It made me bitter and cynical, but I admired her nerve–she was dressed for the sacrifice, trim and well-curried as a thousand-dollar pony. Back of her smile, though, I saw the waiting tears, and my heart bled. Spring is a fierce time for romance, anyhow.
There wasn’t time to say much, so I squeezed Monty’s hand like a cider-press.
“God bless you, lad! You must come back to us,” I said, but he shook his head, and I heard the girl’s breath catch. I continued, “Come on, Ollie; I’ll help you ashore.”
We stood on the bank there together and watched the last of him, tall and clear-cut against the white of the wheel-house, and it seemed to me when he had gone that something bright and vital and young had passed out of me, leaving in its stead discouragement and darkness and age.
“Would you mind walking with me up to my cabin?” Ollie asked.
“Of course not,” I said, and we went down the long street, past the theater, the trading-post, and the saloons, till we came to the hill where her little nest was perched. Every one spoke and smiled to her and she answered in the same way, though I knew she was on parade and holding herself with firm hands. As we came near to the end and her pace quickened, however, and I guessed the panic that was on her to be alone where she could drop her mask and become a woman–a poor, weak, grief-stricken woman. But when we were inside at last her manner astounded me. She didn’t throw herself on her couch nor go to pieces, as I had dreaded, but turned on me with burning eyes and her hands tight clenched, while her voice was throaty and hoarse. The words came tumbling out in confusion.
“I’ve let him go,” she said. “Yes, and you helped me. Only for you I’d have broken down; but I want you to know I’ve done one good thing at last in my miserable life. I’ve held in. He never knew–he never knew. O God! what fools men are!”
“Yes,” I said, “you did mighty well. He’s a sensitive chap, and if you’d broken down he’d have felt awful bad.”
“What!”
She grasped me by the coat lapels and shook me. Yes! That weak little woman shook me, while her face went perfectly livid.
“‘He’d have felt badly,’ eh? Man! Man! Didn’t you see ! Are you blind? Why, he asked me to go with him. He asked me to marry him. Think of it–that great, wonderful man asked me to be his wife–me–Olive Marceau, the dancer! Oh, oh! Isn’t it funny? Why don’t you laugh?”
I didn’t laugh. I stood there, picking pieces of fur out of my cap and wondering if ever I should see another woman like this one. She paced about over the skin rugs, tearing at the throat of her dress as if it choked her. There were no tears in her eyes, but her whole frame shook and shuddered as if from great cold, deep set in her bones.