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When Lincoln Licked A Bully
by
It was a cheerful company that sat down upon the grass around the table with loaded plates. Their food had its extra seasoning of merry jests and loud laughter. Sarah was a little shocked at the forthright directness of their eating, no knives or forks or napkins being needed in that process. Having eaten, washed and packed away their dishes the women went home at two. Before they had gone Samson’s ears caught a thunder of horses’ feet in the distance. Looking in its direction he saw a cloud of dust in the road and a band of horsemen riding toward them at full speed. Abe came to him and said:
“I see the boys from Clary’s Grove are coming. If they get mean let me deal with ’em. It’s my responsibility. I wouldn’t wonder if they had some of Offut’s whisky with them.”
The boys arrived in a cloud of dust and a chorus of Indian whoops and dismounted and hobbled their horses. They came toward the workers, led by burly Jack Armstrong, a stalwart, hard-faced blacksmith of about twenty-two with broad, heavy shoulders, whose name has gone into history. They had been drinking some but no one of them was in the least degree off his balance. They scuffled around the jug for a moment in perfect good nature and then Abe and Mrs. Waddell provided them with the best remnants of the dinner. They were rather noisy. Soon they went up on the roof to help with the rafters and the clapboarding. They worked well a few minutes and suddenly they came scrambling down for another pull at the jug. They were out for a spree and Abe knew it and knew further that they had reached the limit of discretion.
“Boys, there are ladies here and we’ve got to be careful,” he said. “Did I ever tell you what Uncle Jerry Holman said of his bull calf? He said the calf was such a suckcess that he didn’t leave any milk for the family and that while the calf was growin’ fat the children was growin’ poor. In my opinion you’re about fat enough for the present. Let’s stick to the job till four o’clock. Then we’ll knock off for refreshments.”
The young revelers gathered in a group and began to whisper together. Samson writes that it became evident then they were going to make trouble and says:
“We had left the children at Rutledge’s in the care of Ann. I went to Sarah and told her she had better go on and see if they were all right.
“‘Don’t you get in any fight,’ she said, which shows that the women knew what was in the air.
“Sarah led the way and the others followed her.”
Those big, brawny fellows from the grove when they got merry were looking always for a chance to get mad at some man and turn him into a plaything. A victim had been a necessary part of their sprees. Many a poor fellow had been fastened in a barrel and rolled down hill or nearly drowned in a ducking for their amusement. A chance had come to get mad and they were going to make the most of it. They began to growl with resentment. Some were wigging their leader Jack Armstrong to fight Abe. One of them ran to his horse and brought a bottle from his saddlebag. It began passing from mouth to mouth. Jack Armstrong got the bottle before it was half emptied, drained it and flung it high in the air. Another called him a hog and grappled him around the waist and there was a desperate struggle which ended quickly. Armstrong got a hold on the neck of his assailant and choked him until he let go. This was not enough for the sturdy bully of Clary’s Grove. He seized his follower and flung him so roughly on the ground that the latter lay for a moment stunned. Armstrong had got his blood warm and was now ready for action. With a wild whoop he threw off his coat, unbuttoned his right shirtsleeve and rolled it to the shoulder and declared in a loud voice, as he swung his arm in the air, that he could “outjump, outhop, outrun, throw down, drag out an’ lick any man in New Salem.”