FullReads

Hiss-s-s! hiss-s-s! What was that by the stove? The apples were beginning to roast!

“What is that?”

“Why, do you know–,” said our peasant.

And he told the whole story of the horse that he had changed for a cow, and all the rest of it, down to the apples.

“Well, your old woman will give it you well when you get home!” said one of the two Englishmen. “There will be a disturbance.”

“What?–give me what?” said the peasant. “She will kiss me, and say, ‘What the old man does is always right.'”

“Shall we wager?” said the Englishman. “We’ll wager coined gold by the ton–a hundred pounds to the hundredweight!”

“A bushel will be enough,” replied the peasant. “I can only set the bushel of apples against it; and I’ll throw myself and my old woman into the bargain–and I fancy that’s piling up the measure.”

“Done–taken!”

And the bet was made. The host’s carriage came up, and the Englishmen got in, and the peasant got in; away they went, and soon they stopped before the peasant’s hut.

“Good evening, old woman.”

“Good evening, old man.”

“I’ve made the exchange.”

“Yes, you understand what you’re about,” said the woman.

And she embraced him, and paid no attention to the stranger guests, nor did she notice the sack.

“I got a cow in exchange for the horse,” said he.

“Heaven be thanked!” said she. “What glorious milk we shall have, and butter and cheese on the table! That was a capital exchange!”

“Yes, but I changed the cow for a sheep.”

“Ah, that’s better still!” cried the wife. “You always think of everything: we have just pasture enough for a sheep. Ewe’s-milk and cheese, and woollen jackets and stockings! The cow cannot give those, and her hairs will only come off. How you think of everything!”

“But I changed away the sheep for a goose.”

“Then this year we shall really have roast goose to eat, my dear old man. You are always thinking of something to give me pleasure. How charming that is! We can let the goose walk about with a string to her leg, and she’ll grow fatter still before we roast her.”

“But I gave away the goose for a fowl,” said the man.

“A fowl? That was a good exchange!” replied the woman. “The fowl will lay eggs and hatch them, and we shall have chickens: we shall have a whole poultry-yard! Oh, that’s just what I was wishing for.”

“Yes, but I exchanged the fowl for a sack of shrivelled apples.”

“What!–I must positively kiss you for that,” exclaimed the wife. “My dear, good husband! Now, I’ll tell you something. Do you know, you had hardly left me this morning, before I began thinking how I could give you something very nice this evening. I thought it should be pancakes with savoury herbs. I had eggs, and bacon too; but I wanted herbs. So I went over to the schoolmaster’s–they have herbs there, I know–but the schoolmistress is a mean woman, though she looks so sweet. I begged her to lend me a handful of herbs. ‘Lend!’ she answered me; ‘nothing at all grows in our garden, not even a shrivelled apple. I could not even lend you a shrivelled apple, my dear woman.’ But now I can lend her ten, or a whole sackful. That I’m very glad of; that makes me laugh!” And with that she gave him a sounding kiss.

“I like that!” exclaimed both the Englishmen together. “Always going down-hill, and always merry; that’s worth the money.” So they paid a hundredweight of gold to the peasant, who was not scolded, but kissed.

Yes, it always pays, when the wife sees and always asserts that her husband knows best, and that whatever he does is right.

You see, that is my story. I heard it when I was a child; and now you have heard it too, and know that “What the old man does is always right.”