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The aunt looked very much upset.

“What a question to ask!” said she, “I’ve never seen such a restless body as you. We’ve only just come, and you ask when we’re going back!”

“It is all very well for you,” Hemangini said, “for this house belongs to your near relations. But what about me? I tell you plainly I can’t stop here.” And then she held my hand and said: “What do you think, dear?”

I drew her to my heart, but said nothing. The aunt was in a great difficulty. She felt the situation was getting beyond her control; so she proposed that she and her niece should go out together to bathe.

“No! we two will go together,” said Hemangini, clinging to me. The aunt gave in, fearing opposition if she tried to drag her away.

Going down to the river Hemangini asked me: “Why don’t you have children? “

I was startled by her question, and answered: “How can I tell? My God has not given me any. That is the reason.”

“No! That’s not the reason,” said Hemangini quickly. “You must have committed some sin. Look at my aunt. She is childless. It must be because her heart has some wickedness. But what wickedness is in your heart?”

The words hurt me. I have no solution to offer for the problem of evil. I sighed deeply, and said in the silence of my soul: “My God! Thou knowest the reason.”

“Gracious goodness,” cried Hemangini, “what are you sighing for? No one ever takes me seriously.”

And her laughter pealed across the river.

V

I found out after this that there were constant interruptions in my husband’s professional duties. He refused all calls from a distance, and would hurry away from his patients, even when they were close at hand.

Formerly it was only during the mid-day meals and at night-time that he could come into the inner apartment. But now, with unnecessary anxiety for his aunt’s comfort, he began to visit her at all hours of the day. I knew at once that he had come to her room, when I heard her shouting for Hemangini to bring in a glass of water. At first the girl would do what she was told; but later on she refused altogether.

Then the aunt would call, in an endearing voice: “Hemo! Hemo! Hemangini.” But the girl would cling to me with an impulse of pity. A sense of dread and sadness would keep her silent. Sometimes she would shrink towards me like a hunted thing, who scarcely knew what was coming.

About this time my brother came down from Calcutta to visit me. I knew how keen his powers of observation were, and what a hard judge he was. I feared my husband would be put on his defence, and have to stand his trial before him. So I endeavoured to hide the true situation behind a mask of noisy cheerfulness. But I am afraid I overdid the part: it was unnatural for me.

My husband began to fidget openly, and asked bow long my brother was going to stay. At last his impatience became little short of insulting, and my brother had no help for it but to leave. Before going he placed his hand on my head, and kept it there for some time. I noticed that his hand shook, and a tear fell from his eyes, as he silently gave me his blessing.

I well remember that it was an evening in April, and a market-day. People who had come into the town were going back home from market. There was the feeling of an impending storm in the air; the smell of the wet earth and the moisture in the wind were all-pervading. I never keep a lighted lamp in my bedroom, when I am alone, lest my clothes should catch fire, or some accident happen. I sat on the floor in my dark room, and called upon the God of my blind world.