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Twenty Minutes for Refreshments
by
Now these facts I do remember very clearly, and shall never forget them. The babies came from two towns–Sharon, and Rincon its neighbor. Alone, neither had enough for a good show, though in both it was every family’s pride to have a baby every year. The babies were in three classes: Six months and under, one prize offered; eighteen months, two prizes; three years, two prizes. A three-fourths vote of all cast was necessary to a choice. No one entitled to vote unless of immediate family of a competing baby. No one entitled to cast more than one vote. There were rules of entry and fees, but I forget them, except that no one could have two exhibits in the same class. When I read this I asked, how about twins? “Well, we didn’t kind of foresee that,” muttered my instructor, painfully; “what would be your idea?” “Look here, you sir,” interposed Mrs. Brewton, “he came in to count votes.” I was very glad to have her back. “That’s right, ma’am,” admitted the man; “he needn’t to say a thing. We’ve only got one twins entered,” he pursued, “which we’re glad of. Shot-gun–“, “Where is this Mr. Smith?” interrupted Mrs. Brewton. “Uptown, drinking, ma’am.” “And who may Mr. Smith be?” “Most popular citizen of Rincon, ma’am. We had to accept his twins because–well, he come down here himself, and most of Rincon come with him, and as we aimed to have everything pass off pleasant-like–” “I quite comprehend,” said Mrs. Brewton. “And I should consider twins within the rule; or any number born at one time. But little Aqua Marine is the finest single child in that six months class. I told her mother she ought to take that splurgy ring off the poor little thing’s thumb. It’s most unsafe. But I should vote for that child myself.” “Thank you for your valuable endorse- ment,” said a spruce, slim young man. “But the public is not allowed to vote here,” he added. He was standing on the floor and resting his elbows on the table. Mrs. Brewton stared down at him. “Are you the father of the child?” she inquired. “Oh no! I am the agent. I–” “Aqua Marine’s agent?” said Mrs. Brewton, sharply. “Ha, ha!” went the young man. “Ha, ha! Well, that’s good too. She’s part of our exhibit. I’m in charge of the manna-feds, don’t you know?” “I don’t know,” said Mrs. Brewton. “Why, Mrs. Eden’s Manna in the Wilderness! Nourishes, strengthens, and makes no unhealthy fat. Take a circular, and welcome. I’m travelling for the manna. I organized this show. I’ve conducted twenty-eight similar shows in two years. We hold them in every State and Territory. Second of last March I gave Denver–you heard of it, probably?” “I did not,” said Mrs. Brewton. “Well! Ha, ha! I thought every person up to date had heard of Denver’s Olympic Offspring Olio.” “Is it up to date to loll your elbows on the table when you’re speaking to a lady?” inquired Mrs. Brewton. He jumped, and then grew scarlet with rage. “I didn’t expect to learn manners in New Mexico,” said he. “I doubt if you will,” said Mrs. Brewton, and turned her back on him. He was white now; but better instincts, or else business, prevailed in his injured bosom. “Well,” said he, “I had no bad intentions. I was going to say you’d have seen ten thousand people and five hundred babies at Denver. And our manna-feds won out to beat the band. Three first medals, and all exclusively manna-fed. We took the costume prize also. Of course here in Sharon I’ve simplified. No special medal for weight, beauty, costume, or decorated perambulator. Well, I must go back to our exhibit. Glad to have you give us a call up there and see the medals we’re offering, and our fifteen manna-feds, and take a package away with you.” He was gone.