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PAGE 2

Tricks Of The Trade
by [?]

“The merchant, Alex Strauss was his name, couldn’t have picked up a luckier thing for me than this Yucatan hat. The year previous, my house had imported them finished, but that year we had had them trimmed in our own shop. The duty was much less on the unfinished body than on the trimmed hat; therefore, the price had dropped considerably.

“‘How much do you vant for dis?’ said Strauss, picking up the Yucatan.

“Nine dollars a dozen,” said I, without explaining why the price was so low. It would have been as foolish for me to do this, you know, as to play poker with my cards on the table face up.

“Strauss turned to his clerk Morris, who was with him. They both examined the hat, and Alex said in German to Morris: ‘Den selben Hut haben wir gehabt. Letzes Jahr haben wir sechzehn und ein halb den Dutzen bezahlt. Das ist sehr billig!’ (The same hat we had. Last year we paid sixteen and a half a dozen. This is very cheap.)

“Then Alex turned to me–he was a noted bluffer–and said in English: ‘Hefens alife! Nine tollars! Vy, I pought ’em last year for sefen and a half!’

“I never saw such a bold stand in my life. The expression on his face would have won a jackpot on a bob-tailed flush. But I was in position to call his bluff. His cards were on the table face up.

“I merely repeated his own words in his own tongue: ‘Den selben Hut haben wir gehabt. Letzes Jahr haben wir sechzehn und ein halb den Dutzen bezahlt. Das ist sehr billig.’

“‘Hier, dake a seecar on me,’ said Alex, offering me a smoke. He bought a good bill from me and has been a good customer ever since.

“Just to let you know what a hard proposition Strauss was, I’ll tell you another incident in connection with him:

“‘After I had known Alex for two years I went into his store one morning, when I was on my fall trip. He came from behind the counter to meet me, wearing upon his face a smile of triumph. He had never approached me before; I always had to hunt him down.

“I said, ‘Hello, Alex, how goes it?’

“‘Dis is how choes id,’ said he, handing me a card. ‘Dot’s de way id choes mit ev’rypody dis season.’

“On the card which he handed me–and to every traveling man who, came in–were these words: ‘Don’t waste your time on me; I will not buy any goods until I go to market. Alex.’

“Reading the card quickly, I said to him: ‘Thank you, Alex, may I have another one of these cards?’

“He handed me another one, saying, ‘Vot you vant mit anudder vun?’

“‘I want one to hold as a keepsake of the man, of all men, who is gladdest to see me when I get around; the other I shall pin to the order I shall take from you today and send to my firm.’

“With a sweeping bow, I said, ‘Adieu, Alex; Auf wiedersehen,’ and left the store.

“I knew Alex’s habits. He always went to dinner when the town clock struck twelve. A deaf shoemaker in the next block regulated his watch, they say, by Alex’s movements. A few minutes past twelve I went back to the store and left on the front show case a bunch of samples done up in a red cloth. On some of them were large green tags telling the quantity I had of each and the price. I also wrote on the green tags the words ‘Job Lot.’

“I knew that Alex would see the bundle; and I knew that he would open it–a merchant will always look at samples if you take them to his store. I also knew that Alex, when he saw the mystic words ‘Job Lot,’ would be half crazy. Adam and Eve were not more tempted by the forbidden fruit than is the Yehuda (Hebrew) merchant by a metziah (bargain).