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“I’m going to have a fit,” he said.

“No, you’re not,” said Joe. “Because if you was you wouldn’t ‘a’ sat down. You take all your fits standing.”

“This is a different kind of a fit,” said Charley, beginning to cry.

He shook and shook, but just because he wanted to he couldn’t scare up the least kind of a fit.

Joe got mad and used awful language. But that didn’t help none. So I talked soft and kind to Charley. That’s the way to handle feebs. If you get mad, they get worse. I know. I’m that way myself. That’s why I was almost the death of Mrs. Bopp. She got mad.

It was getting along in the afternoon, and I knew we had to be on our way, so I said to Joe:

“Here, stop your cussing and hold Albert. I’ll go back and get him.”

And I did, too; but he was so scared and dizzy he crawled along on hands and knees while I helped him. When I got him across and took Albert back in my arms, I heard somebody laugh and looked down. And there was a man and woman on horseback looking up at us. He had a gun on his saddle, and it was her who was laughing.

“Who in hell’s that?” said Joe, getting scared. “Somebody to catch us?”

“Shut up your cussing,” I said to him. “That is the man who owns this ranch and writes books.”

“How do you do, Mr. Endicott,” I said down to him.

“Hello,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re running away,” I said.

And he said, “Good luck. But be sure and get back before dark.”

“But this is a real running away,” I said.

And then both he and his wife laughed.

“All right,” he said. “Good luck just the same. But watch out the bears and mountain lions don’t get you when it gets dark.”

Then they rode away laughing, pleasant like; but I wished he hadn’t said that about the bears and mountain lions.

After we got around the hill, I found a trail, and we went much faster. Charley didn’t have any more signs of fits, and began laughing and talking about gold mines. The trouble was with little Albert. He was almost as big as me. You see, all the time I’d been calling him little Albert, he’d been growing up. He was so heavy I couldn’t keep up with Joe and Charley. I was all out of breath. So I told them they’d have to take turns in carrying him, which they said they wouldn’t. Then I said I’d leave them and they’d get lost, and the mountain lions and bears would eat them. Charley looked like he was going to have a fit right there, and Joe said, “Give him to me.” And after that we carried him in turn.

We kept right on up that mountain. I don’t think there was any gold mine, but we might ‘a’ got to the top and found it, if we hadn’t lost the trail, and if it hadn’t got dark, and if little Albert hadn’t tired us all out carrying him. Lots of feebs are scared of the dark, and Joe said he was going to have a fit right there. Only he didn’t. I never saw such an unlucky boy. He never could throw a fit when he wanted to. Some of the feebs can throw fits as quick as a wink.

By and by it got real black, and we were hungry, and we didn’t have no fire. You see, they don’t let feebs carry matches, and all we could do was just shiver. And we’d never thought about being hungry. You see, feebs always have their food ready for them, and that’s why it’s better to be a feeb than earning your living in the world.

And worse than everything was the quiet. There was only one thing worse, and it was the noises. There was all kinds of noises every once in a while, with quiet spells in between. I reckon they were rabbits, but they made noises in the brush like wild animals–you know, rustle rustle, thump, bump, crackle crackle, just like that. First Charley got a fit, a real one, and Joe threw a terrible one. I don’t mind fits in the Home with everybody around. But out in the woods on a dark night is different. You listen to me, and never go hunting gold mines with epilecs, even if they are high-grade.