PAGE 8
The Widow’s Cruise
by
“Castin’ down my eyes in despair, I happened to look through the crack in the bottom of the boat, and oh, what a blessed relief it was! for down there everything was sm
ooth and still, and I could see the sand on the bottom, as level and hard, no doubt, as it was on the beach. Suddenly the thought struck me that that bottom would give me the only chance I had of gettin’ out of the frightful fix I was in. If I could fill that oil-can with air, and then puttin’ it under my arm and takin’ a long breath if I could drop down on that smooth bottom, I might run along toward shore, as far as I could, and then, when I felt my breath was givin’ out, I could take a pull at the oil-can and take another run, and then take another pull and another run, and perhaps the can would hold air enough for me until I got near enough to shore to wade to dry land. To be sure, the sharks and other monsters were down there, but then they must have been awfully frightened, and perhaps they might not remember that man was their nat’ral enemy. Anyway, I thought it would be better to try the smooth water passage down there than stay and be swallowed up by the ragin’ waves on top.
“So I blew the can full of air and corked it, and then I tore up some of the boards from the bottom of the boat so as to make a hole big enough for me to get through,–and you sailormen needn’t wriggle so when I say that, for you all know a divin’-bell hasn’t any bottom at all and the water never comes in,–and so when I got the hole big enough I took the oil-can under my arm, and was just about to slip down through it when I saw an awful turtle a-walkin’ through the sand at the bottom. Now, I might trust sharks and swordfishes and sea-serpents to be frightened and forget about their nat’ral enemies, but I never could trust a gray turtle as big as a cart, with a black neck a yard long, with yellow bags to its jaws, to forget anything or to remember anything. I’d as lieve get into a bath-tub with a live crab as to go down there. It wasn’t of no use even so much as thinkin’ of it, so I gave up that plan and didn’t once look through that hole again.”
“And what did you do, madam?” asked Captain Bird, who was regarding her with a face of stone.
“I used electricity,” she said.”Now don’t start as if you had a shock of it. That’s what I used. When I was younger than I was then, and sometimes visited friends in the city, we often amused ourselves by rubbing our feet on the carpet until we got ourselves so full of electricity that we could put up our fingers and light the gas. So I said to myself that if I could get full of electricity for the purpose of lightin’ the gas I could get full of it for other purposes, and so, without losin’ a moment, I set to work. I stood up on one of the seats, which was dry, and I rubbed the bottoms of my shoes backward and forward on it with such violence and swiftness that they pretty soon got warm and I began fillin’ with electricity, and when I was fully charged with it from my toes to the top of my head, I just sprang into the water and swam ashore. Of course I couldn’t sink, bein’ full of electricity.”