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The Twins Of Table Mountain
by
Rand was vaguely murmuring something to the effect that “he knew she didn’t mean anything,” that “she musn’t think of it again,” that “he’d forgotten all about it,” when she stopped him with a tired gesture.
“Perhaps I was wrong to think, that, after I am gone, you would care to tell him anything. Perhaps I’m wrong to think of it at all, or to care what he will think of me, except for the sake of the child–his child, Rand–that I must leave behind me. He will know that IT never abused him. No, God bless its sweet heart! IT never was wild and wicked and hateful, like its cruel, crazy mother. And he will love it; and you, perhaps, will love it too–just a little, Rand! Look at it!” She tried to raise the helpless bundle beside her in her arms, but failed. “You must lean over,” she said faintly to Rand. “It looks like him, doesn’t it?”
Rand, with wondering, embarrassed eyes, tried to see some resemblance, in the little blue-red oval, to the sad, wistful face of his brother, which even then was haunting him from some mysterious distance. He kissed the child’s forehead, but even then so vaguely and perfunctorily, that the mother sighed, and drew it closer to her breast.
“The doctor says,” she continued in a calmer voice, “that I’m not doing as well as I ought to. I don’t think,” she faltered, with something of her old bitter laugh, “that I’m ever doing as well as I ought to, and perhaps it’s not strange now that I don’t. And he says that, in case anything happens to me, I ought to look ahead. I have looked ahead. It’s a dark look ahead, Rand–a horror of blackness, without kind faces, without the baby, without–without HIM!”
She turned her face away, and laid it on the bundle by her side. It was so quiet in the cabin, that, through the open door beyond, the faint, rhythmical moan of the pines below was distinctly heard.
“I know it’s foolish; but that is what ‘looking ahead’ always meant to me,” she said, with a sigh. “But, since the doctor has been gone, I’ve talked to Mrs. Sol, and find it’s for the best. And I look ahead, and see more clearly. I look ahead, and see my disgrace removed far away from HIM and you. I look ahead, and see you and HE living together happily, as you did before I came between you. I look ahead, and see my past life forgotten, my faults forgiven; and I think I see you both loving my baby, and perhaps loving me a little for its sake. Thank you, Rand, thank you!”
For Rand’s hand had caught hers beside the pillow, and he was standing over her, whiter than she. Something in the pressure of his hand emboldened her to go on, and even lent a certain strength to her voice.
“When it comes to THAT, Rand, you’ll not let these people take the baby away. You’ll keep it HERE with you until HE comes. And something tells me that he will come when I am gone. You’ll keep it here in the pure air and sunlight of the mountain, and out of those wicked depths below; and when I am gone, and they are gone, and only you and Ruth and baby are here, maybe you’ll think that it came to you in a cloud on the mountain,–a cloud that lingered only long enough to drop its burden, and faded, leaving the sunlight and dew behind. What is it, Rand? What are you looking at?”
“I was thinking,” said Rand in a strange altered voice, “that I must trouble you to let me take down those duds and furbelows that hang on the wall, so that I can get at some traps of mine behind them.” He took some articles from the wall, replaced the dresses of Mrs. Sol, and answered Mornie’s look of inquiry.