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The Talking Horse
by
‘I will,’ he said between his bit and clenched teeth.
And then Miss Gittens came bumping by on the grey, and, before I could interfere, my Houyhnhnm was off like a shot in pursuit. I saw Diana’s sweet, surprised face: I heard the Colonel’s jarring laugh as I passed, and I–I could only bow in mortified appeal, and long for a gulf to leap into like Curtius!
I don’t know what I said to Miss Gittens. I believe I made myself recklessly amiable, and I remember she lingered over parting in a horribly emotional manner. I was too miserable to mind: all the time I was seeing Diana’s astonished eyes, hearing Colonel Cockshott’s heartless laugh. Brutus made a kind of explanation on our way home: ‘You meant well,’ he said, ‘but you see you were wrong. Your proposed sacrifice, for which I am just as grateful to you as if it had been effected, was useless. All I could do in return was to take you where your true inclination lay. I, too, can be unselfish.’
I was too dejected to curse his unselfishness. I did not even trouble myself to explain what it had probably cost me. I only felt drearily that I had had my last ride, I had had enough of horsemanship for ever!
That evening I went to the theatre, I wanted to deaden thought for the moment; and during one of the intervals I saw Lady Verney in the stalls, and went up to speak to her. ‘Your niece is not with you?’ I said; ‘I thought I should have had a chance of–of saying good-bye to her before she left for the continent.’
I had a lingering hope that she might ask me to lunch, that I might have one more opportunity of explaining.
‘Oh,’ said Lady Verney, ‘but that is all changed; we are not going–at least, not yet.’
‘Not going!’ I cried, incredulous for very joy.
‘No, it is all very sudden; but,–well, you are almost like an old friend, and you are sure to hear it sooner or later. I only knew myself this afternoon, when she came in from her ride. Colonel Cockshott has proposed and she has accepted him. We’re so pleased about it. Wasn’t dear Mrs. —- delightful in that last act? I positively saw real tears on her face!’
If I had waited much longer she would have seen a similar display of realism on mine. But I went back and sat the interval out, and listened critically to the classical selection of chamber-music from the orchestra, and saw the rest of the play, though I have no notion how it ended.
All that night my heart was slowly consumed by a dull rage that grew with every sleepless hour; but the object of my resentment was not Diana. She had only done what as a woman she was amply justified in doing after the pointed slight I had apparently inflicted upon her. Her punishment was sufficient already, for, of course, I guessed that she had only accepted the Colonel under the first intolerable sting of desertion. No: I reserved all my wrath for Brutus, who had betrayed me at the moment of triumph. I planned revenge. Cost what it might I would ride him once more. In the eyes of the law I was his master. I would exercise my legal rights to the full.
The afternoon came at last. I was in a white heat of anger, though as I ascended to the saddle there were bystanders who put a more uncharitable construction upon my complexion.
Brutus cast an uneasy eye at my heels as we started: ‘What are those things you’ve got on?’ he inquired.
‘Spurs,’ I replied curtly.
‘You shouldn’t wear them till you have learnt to turn your toes in,’ he said. ‘And a whip, too! May I ask what that is for?’
‘We will discuss that presently,’ I said very coldly; for I did not want to have a scene with my horse in the street.