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The Tale Of Chloe: An Episode In The History Of Beau Beamish
by
The duchess laughed at Chloe’s laughter. Chloe excused herself, but was informed by her mistress that it was what she liked.
‘For the first two years,’ she resumed, ‘I could hardly speak a syllable. I stammered, I reddened, I longed to be up in my room brushing and curling my hair, and was ready to curtsey to everybody. Now I’m quite at home, for I’ve plenty of courage–except about death, and I’m worse about death than I was when I was a simple body with a gawk’s “lawks!” in her round eyes and mouth for an egg. I wonder why that is? But isn’t death horrible? And skeletons!’ The duchess shuddered.
‘It depends upon the skeleton,’ said Beau Beamish, who had joined the conversation. ‘Yours, madam, I would rather not meet, because she would precipitate me into transports of regret for the loss of the flesh. I have, however, met mine own and had reason for satisfaction with the interview.’
‘Your own skeleton, sir!’ said the duchess wonderingly and appalled.
‘Unmistakably mine. I will call you to witness by an account of him.’
Duchess Susan gaped, and, ‘Oh, don’t!’ she cried out; but added, ‘It ‘s broad day, and I’ve got some one to sleep anigh me after dark’; with which she smiled on Chloe, who promised her there was no matter for alarm.
‘I encountered my gentleman as I was proceeding to my room at night,’ said the beau, ‘along a narrow corridor, where it was imperative that one of us should yield the ‘pas;’ and, I must confess it, we are all so amazingly alike in our bones, that I stood prepared to demand place of him. For indubitably the fellow was an obstruction, and at the first glance repulsive. I took him for anybody’s skeleton, Death’s ensign, with his cachinnatory skull, and the numbered ribs, and the extraordinary splay feet–in fact, the whole ungainly and shaky hobbledehoy which man is built on, and by whose image in his weaker moments he is haunted. I had, to be frank, been dancing on a supper with certain of our choicest Wits and Beauties. It is a recipe for conjuring apparitions. Now, then, thinks I, my fine fellow, I will bounce you; and without a salutation I pressed forward. Madam, I give you my word, he behaved to the full pitch as I myself should have done under similar circumstances. Retiring upon an inclination of his structure, he draws up and fetches me a bow of the exact middle nick between dignity and service. I advance, he withdraws, and again the bow, devoid of obsequiousness, majestically condescending. These, thinks I, be royal manners. I could have taken him for the Sable King in person, stripped of his mantle. On my soul, he put me to the blush.’
‘And is that all?’ asked the duchess, relieving herself with a sigh.
‘Why, madam,’ quoth the beau, ‘do you not see that he could have been none other than mine own, who could comport himself with that grand air and gracefulness when wounded by his closest relative? Upon his opening my door for me, and accepting the ‘pas,’ which I now right heartily accorded him, I recognized at once both him and the reproof he had designedly dealt me–or the wine supper I had danced on, perhaps I should say’ and I protest that by such a display of supreme good breeding he managed to convey the highest compliment ever received by man, namely the assurance, that after the withering away of this mortal garb, I shall still be noted for urbanity and elegancy. Nay, and more, immortally, without the slip I was guilty of when I carried the bag of wine.’
Duchess Susan fanned herself to assist her digestion of the anecdote.
‘Well, it’s not so frightful a story, and I know you are the great Mr. Beamish;’ she said.