PAGE 24
The Secret Sharer
by
When I opened my eyes the second view started my heart with a thump. The black southern hill of Koh-ring seemed to hang right over the ship like a towering fragment of everlasting night. On that enormous mass of blackness there was not a gleam to be seen, not a sound to be heard. It was gliding irresistibly towards us and yet seemed already within reach of the hand. I saw the vague figures of the watch grouped in the waist, gazing in awed silence.
Are you going on, sir? inquired an unsteady voice at my elbow.
I ignored it. I had to go on.
Keep her full. Dont check her way. That wont do now, I said warningly.
I cant see the sails very well, the helmsman answered me, in strange, quavering tones.
Was she close enough? Already she was, I wont say in the shadow of the land, but in the very blackness of it, already swallowed up as it were, gone too close to be recalled, gone from me altogether.
Give the mate a call, I said to the young man who stood at my elbow as still as death. And turn all hands up.
My tone had a borrowed loudness reverberated from the height of the land. Several voices cried out together: We are all on deck, sir.
Then stillness again, with the great shadow gliding closer, towering higher, without a light, without a sound. Such a hush had fallen on the ship that she might have been a bark of the dead floating in slowly under the very gate of Erebus.
My God! Where are we?
It was the mate moaning at my elbow. He was thunderstruck, and as it were deprived of the moral support of his whiskers. He clapped his hands and absolutely cried out, Lost!< /p>
Be quiet, I said, sternly.
He lowered his tone, but I saw the shadowy gesture of his despair. What are we doing here?
Looking for the land wind.
He made as if to tear his hair, and addressed me recklessly.
She will never get out. You have done it, sir. I knew itd end in something like this. She will never weather, and you are too close now to stay. Shell drift ashore before shes round. O my God!
I caught his arm as he was raising it to batter his poor devoted head, and shook it violently.
Shes ashore already, he wailed, trying to tear himself away.
Is she? Keep good full there!
Good full, sir, cried the helmsman in a frightened, thin, childlike voice.
I hadnt let go the mates arm and went on shaking it. Ready about, do you hear? You go forwardshakeand stop thereshakeand hold your noiseshakeand see these head-sheets properly overhauledshake, shakeshake.
And all the time I dared not look towards the land lest my heart should fail me. I released my grip at last and he ran forward as if fleeing for dear life.
I wondered what my double there in the sail locker thought of this commotion. He was able to hear everythingand perhaps he was able to understand why, on my conscience, it had to be thus closeno less. My first order Hard alee! re-echoed ominously under the towering shadow of Koh-ring as if I had shouted in a mountain gorge. And then I watched the land intently. In that smooth water and light wind it was impossible to feel the ship coming-to. No! I could not feel her. And my second self was making now ready to ship out and lower himself overboard. Perhaps he was gone already ?
The great black mass brooding over our very mastheads began to pivot away from the ships side silently. And now I forgot the secret stranger ready to depart, and remembered only that I was a total stranger to the ship. I did not know her. Would she do it? How was she to be handled?