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The Rhyme To Porringer
by
“You are a Jacobite?” said she. “Well! and what have your politics to do with the matter?”
“Simply that Lord Humphrey is not of my way of thinking, my dearest dear. Lord Humphrey–pah!–this Degge is Ormskirk’s spy, I tell you! He followed Vanringham to Tunbridge on account of our business. And to-day, when Vanringham set out for Avignon, he was stopped a mile from the Wells by some six of Lord Humphrey’s fellows, disguised as highwaymen, and all his papers were stolen. Oho, but Lord Humphrey is a thrifty fellow: so when Ormskirk puts six bandits at his disposal he employs them in double infamy, to steal you as well as Vanringham’s despatches. To-morrow they would have been in Ormskirk’s hands. And then–” I paused to allow myself a whistle.
She came a little toward me, in the prettiest possible glow of bewilderment, “I do not understand,” she murmured. “Oh, Frank, Frank, for the love of God, beware of trusting Vanringham in anything! And you are not a thief, after all? Are you really not named Thomasson?”
“I am most assuredly not Frederick Thomasson,” said I, “nor do I know if any such person exists, for I never heard the name before to-night. Yet, in spite of this, I am an unmitigated thief. Why, d’ye not understand? What Vanringham carried was a petition from some two hundred Scotch and English gentlemen that our gracious Prince Charlie be pleased to come over and take back his own from the Elector. ‘Twas rebellion, flat rebellion, and the very highest treason! Had Ormskirk seen the paper, within a month our heads had all been blackening over Temple Bar. So I stole it,–I, Francis Audaine, stole it in the King’s cause, God bless him! ‘Twas burglary, no less, but it saved two hundred lives, my own included; and I look to be a deal older than I am before I regret the deed with any sincerity.”
Afterward I showed her the papers, and then burned them one by one over a candle. She said nothing. So by and by I turned toward her with a little bow.
“Madam,” said I, “you have forced my secret from me. I know that your family is staunch on the Whig side; and yet, ere the thief goes, may he not trust you will ne’er betray him?”
And now she came to me, all penitence and dimples.
“But it was you who said you were a thief,” my dear mistress pointed out.
“O Lord, madam!” said I, “’twas very necessary that Degge should think me so. A house-breaker they would have only hanged, but a Jacobite they would have hanged and quartered afterward.”
“Ah, Frank, do not speak of such fearful matters, but forgive me instantly!” she wailed.
And I was about to do so in what I considered the most agreeable and appropriate manner when the madcap broke away from me, and sprang upon a footstool and waved her fan defiantly.
“Down with the Elector!” she cried, in her high, sweet voice. “Long live King James!”
And then, with a most lovely wildness of mien, she began to sing:
“Ken ye the rhyme to porringer?
Ken ye the rhyme to porringer?
King James the Seventh had ae daughter–“
until I interrupted her. For, “Extraordinary creature!” I pleaded, “you will rouse the house.”
“I don’t care! I intend to be a Jacobite if you are one!”
“Eh, well,” said I, “Frank Audaine is not the man to coerce his wife in a political matter. Nevertheless, I know of a certain Jacobite who is not unlikely to have a bad time of it if by any chance Lord Humphrey recognized him to-night. Nay, Miss, you may live to be a widow yet.”
“But he didn’t recognize you. And if he did”–she snapped her fingers,–“why, we’ll fight him again, you and I. Won’t we, my dear? For he stole our secret, you know. And he stole me, too. Very pretty behavior, wasn’t it?” And here Miss, Allonby stamped the tiniest, the most infinitesimal of red-heeled slippers.
“The rogue he didna keep me lang,
To budge we made him fain again–
“that’s you, Frank, and your great, long sword. And now:
“We’ll hang him high, upon a tree,
And King Frank shall hae his ain again!”
Afterward my adored Dorothy jumped from the footstool, and came toward me, lifting up the crimson trifle that she calls her mouth, “So take your own, my king,” she breathed, with a wonderful gesture of surrender.
And a gentleman could do no less.