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“Here’s the ‘ealth of Henry Wiggett what lost ‘is leg to save Mr. Ketchmaid’s life,” he said, unctuously. “Also the ‘ealth of Sam Jones, who let hisself be speared through the chest for the same noble purpose. Likewise the health of Captain Peters, who nursed Mr. Ketchmaid like ‘is own son when he got knocked up doing the work of five men as was drowned; likewise the health o’ Dick Lee, who helped Mr. Ketchmaid capture a Chinese junk full of pirates and killed the whole seventeen of ’em by–‘Ow did you say you killed’em, Ketchmaid?”

The landlord, who was busy with the taps, affected not to hear.

“Killed the whole seventeen of ’em by first telling ’em yarns till they fell asleep and then choking ’em with Henry Wiggett’s wooden leg,” resumed the shoemaker.

“Kee–hee,” said a hapless listener, explosively. “Kee–hee–kee—-“

He checked himself suddenly, and assumed an air of great solemnity as the landlord looked his way.

“You’d better go ‘ome, Jem Summers,” said the fuming Mr. Ketchmaid. “You’re the worse for liker.”

“I’m not,” said Mr. Summers, stoutly.

“Out you go,” said Mr. Ketchmaid, briefly. “You know my rules. I keep a respectable house, and them as can’t drink in moderation are best outside.”

“You should stick to lemonade, Jem,” said Mr. Clark. “You can say what you like then.”

Mr. Summers looked round for support, and then, seeing no pity in the landlord’s eye, departed, wondering inwardly how he was to spend the remainder of the evening. The company in the bar gazed at each other soberly and exchanged whispers.

“Understand, Ned Clark,” said the indignant Mr. Ketchmaid, “I don’t want your money in this public-house. Take it somewhere else.”

“Thank’ee, but I prefer to come here,” said the shoemaker, ostentatiously sipping his lemonade. “I like to listen to your tales of the sea. In a quiet way I get a lot of amusement out of ’em.”

“Do you disbelieve my word?” demanded Mr. Ketchmaid, hotly.

“Why, o’ course I do,” replied the shoemaker; “we all do. You’d see how silly they are yourself if you only stopped to think. You and your sharks!–no shark would want to eat you unless it was blind.”

Mr. Ketchmaid allowed this gross reflection on his personal appearance to pass unnoticed, and for the first time of many evenings sat listening in torment as the shoemaker began the narration of a series of events which he claimed had happened to a seafaring nephew. Many of these bore a striking resemblance to Mr. Ketch-maid’s own experiences, the only difference being that the nephew had no eye at all for the probabilities.

In this fell work Mr. Clark was ably assisted by the offended Mr. Summers. Side by side they sat and quaffed lemonade, and burlesqued the landlord’s autobiography, the only consolation afforded to Mr. Ketchmaid consisting in the reflection that they were losing a harmless pleasure in good liquor. Once, and once only, they succumbed to the superior attractions of alcohol, and Mr. Ketchmaid, returning from a visit to his brewer at the large seaport of Burnsea, heard from the ostler the details of a carouse with which he had been utterly unable to cope.

The couple returned to lemonade the following night, and remained faithful to that beverage until an event transpired which rendered further self-denial a mere foolishness.

It was about a week later, Mr. Ketchmaid had just resumed his seat after serving a customer, when the attention of all present was attracted by an odd and regular tapping on the brick-paved passage outside. It stopped at the tap-room, and a murmur of voices escaped at the open door. Then the door was closed, and a loud, penetrating voice called on the name of Sol Ketchmaid.

“Good Heavens!” said the amazed landlord, half-rising from his seat and falling back again, “I ought to know that voice.”

“Sol Ketchmaid,” bellowed the voice again; “where are you, shipmate?”

“Hennery Wig-gett!” gasped the landlord, as a small man with ragged whiskers appeared at the wicket, “it can’t be!”