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Gertrude, Queen of Denmark, was a Hyacinth who worked daily at hooks and buttonholes for an East Broadway tailor. On this night she wore none of her regalia save her crown and the King had done nothing at all to differentiate himself from Susie Lacov who officiated as waitress in a Jewish lunchroom.

The Hyacinths had wisely decided to edit Hamlet. In this they followed an almost universal principle and their method was also time-honored. All the scenes in which unimportant members of the club or cast “came out strong,” were eliminated. So far the Hyacinths were orthodox, but Rosie Rosenbaum, Prince, President and Censor, went a step further.

“Git busy. Mix her up, why don’t you!” she commanded later from the wings. The other players were laboriously wading through persiflage and conversation. “You folks ain’t done nothin’ the last ten minutes only stand there and gas. Is that actin’? Maybe it’s wrote in the book. What I want to know is–is it actin’?” Burgess sat suddenly erect and his eyes glowed. Miss Masters half rose to assume authority but he restrained her.

“You shut up and leave me be,” Polonius cried. “Ain’t I got a right to say good-bye to my son?”

“You can say good-bye all right,” Rosie reminded her, “without puttin’ up that game of talk. Give him a ‘I’ll be a sister to you’ on the cheek an’ git through sometime before to-morrow. Cut it, I tell you.”

This “off with his head” attitude on the President’s part delighted Burgess. But the caste enjoyed it less and when the ghost was docked of a whole scene it grew rebellious.

“If you give me any more of your lip,” said the princely stage manager, “I’ll trow you out altogether. There’s lots of people wouldn’t believe in ghosts anyway. Me grandfather seen this play in Chermany and he told me they didn’t use the ghost at all. Nothin’ but a green light with a voice comin’ out of it.”

“Well, I could be the voice, couldn’t I?” the ghost argued; and it was at this point that Miss Masters took charge of the meeting and introduced Mr. Burgess.

“Who has offered,” she went on in spite of his energetic pantomime of disclaimer, “to help us with our play.”

“That’s real sweet of you, Mr. Burgess,” said the President graciously.

“Not at all–not at all,” he answered. “It will be a pleasure, I assure you.”

“You’ll excuse me, I’m sure,” the Secretary broke in, “if we go right on with our woik while you’re here. We’re makin’ our own costoomes, as much as we can. That was one reason us young ladies chose Hamlet. It’s a play what everyone wears skoits in. It’s easier for us and it ain’t so embarrassing, and I guess our folks will like it better. You have to think of your folks sometimes. Even if they are old-fashioned. Miss Masters got us pictures of Mr. Marsden’s production an’ every last one of the characters has skoits on. Hamlet’s ain’t no longer than a bathin’ suit, but anyway it’s there. I don’t think it’s real refined, myself, for young ladies to wear gents’ suits on the stage.”

“And of course,” a gentle-eyed little girl looked up from her sewing to remark,–“of course this club ain’t formed just for makin’ shirt waists. We’ve got a culture-an’-refinement clause in the club constitution, so we wouldn’t want to do nothin’ that wasn’t real refined.”

“I understand,” said Burgess more at a loss than a conversation had ever found him, “And what may I ask, is your part of the play?”

“Mamie Conners is too nervous,” the lady President explained “to come right out and act. She’s ‘A flourish of trumpets within an’ a voice without an’ a lady of the court an’ a soldier an’ a choir boy at the funeral.'”

“Ah, Miss Conners,” Burgess assured this timid but versatile Hyacinth, “that’s only stage fright, all great actresses suffer from it at one time or another.”